Loudly, brightly
by ladykrueger
Summary: After that night her life ended. At least that's what she'd thought until she met them...
1. The End

_**Hello world! Here's the first chapter of my story!**_

 _ **It follows the plot of the game (that is** **"Demon of the Fleeting Blossom"** **), but very loosely. I'm going to change and add various things, kind of making my own version of it.**_

 _ **Our heroine is an OC, it is the very same lady that some of you might have already met. If not, feel free to read this story's prequel – "Memories of the Happy Days".**_

 _ **Enough with the boring stuff. Enjoy!**_

* * *

She took a step and the pain shot from the small of her back, and then all the way up to the arms. With another step her legs started to give out. She was so exhausted. That demon of a Father turned her training into hell yet again. Now, her sole goal was to wash up as quickly as possible and go to sleep.

When she finally managed to drag her aching body into the bath, she took off the sweaty clothes right away and let the warm water relax her strained muscles. The window was opened, what allowed the sweet scent of cherry blossoms to enter the room and envelop the place with a delicate aroma. She inhaled deeply, smiling. After a while she almost fell asleep, it felt that good, but her snooze got interrupted by Father.

"Shizuka, where are you?" For a second she wanted to just hide underwater and pray that he'll eventually give up. But sadly she knew Father and his persistence all too well. Sighing heavily, she exited the bath and headed to her room, adjusting the obi of her sleeping robe in the process.

"Here, Father," she called out finally. His fast steps echoed on the corridor and seconds later he entered.

Father wasn't very tall, he was barely towering over Shizuka, but his body was all muscles, the result of his diligent training ever since he was young. His face could be considered a handsome one, with a sharp jawline, fair complexion and few strands of brown hair covering his forehead. But no doubt his biggest asset were his eyes. They were very dark, almost black, their depth strangely hypnotizing. For his daughter however, they were the eyes to be wary of.

Overall, he seemed like an average man in his early forties. But that impression was disappearing the moment he got his hands of a sword, because Harunosuke was one of the most skilled swordsmen in Japan. The way he handled his blade, the famous Sagami Kaneyasu, was leaving everybody speechless. He mastered the Mizoguchi-ha Ittō-ryū style when he was fourteen, earning the title of a prodigy. During that time he was also introduced to _iai_ – the art of quick draw, and started experimenting with different techniques. Soon, he was able to create his own fighting style, the combination making his movements so fast, that his opponents could only dream of landing a hit on him. His skill got quite a recognition, and thanks to this the dojo that he's established was always full of young men, eager to learn from the best.

As a teacher he was very respected. At the beginning his disciples were looking at him wide-eyed, completely fascinated by his abilities and the way he held his lessons. Harunosuke was very calm and patient, the traits very appreciated by sometimes still uneasy and inexperienced students. After few weeks, as they were already introduced to the basics, men were very content and full of enthusiasm about their future with Kurai-sensei.

But then, the real practise was starting. The disciples were to find out Harunosuke's true colours. His exhausting, downright inhuman training routine and scary demanding attitude during lessons was sadly making great deal of them give up, as they claimed they had wanted to keep their physical and mental state intact. Of course, they were the object the biggest contempt, since Harunosuke believed it is unforgivable for a man to go back on his word. He was also wondering what made them quit and just couldn't think of any reason. Still, many of his students were somehow able to endure, and their skills were improving greatly. However, they were flinching at every word from Harunosuke. That's how his nickname was born – Demon of the Wind, which showed the perfect combination of respect and fear that his pupils felt towards him.

Right now Demon of the Wind was looking at his daughter, displeasure visible on his face. _Here we go,_ she thought. _Time for the lecture._

"Shizuka, how many times do I have to tell you to stop being so reckless! This kind of scandalous attitude..." he huffed under his breath. "You would be dead the moment you would enter the real battlefield, do you realize? Confidence is good, but showing off is unbecoming for a true samurai." Shizuka didn't even have time to answer before he started again.

"Also, I believe I warned you to not overuse your powers. You shall win the fight honourably, with your own strength and effort. Those powers should be used **only** in the case of emergency. Do you understand?" he finished, hard note clear in his voice.

She did not.

After all, ever since she was a little girl, along with the swordsmanship, Father was teaching her about those powers, how to control them and use to her advantage. She also learned about their original family line – Yukimura, and its history. Father believed that she should know all about her heritage as the proud member of one of the greatest oni clans existing. But despite telling her all those things, he's never explained why he's so against using oni powers freely.

Instead, Father would always scold her harshly, just like now, making her wonder even more why he's so concerned about this. Also, talking about Yukimura clan with anyone was strictly forbidden. She was really confused by all those regulations.

"But Father," Shizuka whined miserably. "What's so wrong in using those powers? I can control them very well. You'd never told me why..." Hoping to get some answers out of him this time, she intended to press Father but, as usual when they were discussing this matter, he cut her off immediately.

"Enough! I am asking if you understood." His harsh tone startled her, the voice caught in her throat. Father was rarely getting intense with her, but when he did, there was no place for argument. His dark eyes were staring right at her, as if piercing through her very being, making her obey. _The eyes to be wary of._

"Yes, Father," she mumbled finally and looked away, the feeling of distress spreading in her body.

Seeing his daughter so dejected, Harunosuke's gaze softened and he gave her a pat on the head.

"Thank you, Shizu." She looked up at him and saw his face lighting up in a gentle smile, an occurrence extremely rare. She loved this smile and he was perfectly aware of that.

Every time they were fighting about those matters, he would end the argument abruptly, and then, when she was angry, he would just give her that smile of his, disarming her and making her unable to stay mad at him. During those times there was a strange warmth in his expression, something that was instantly making her feel relaxed. And this time too, the uneasiness from before was gone in seconds.

And the way he called her - _Shizu_. Only he was calling her like this. Indeed, he knew very well how to handle his daughter. He truly was a sly man.

After a moment the smile disappeared, replaced by his usual, serious look.

"Now go and rest." He moved to the door, ready to leave, but stopped at the entrance for a while as if considering something. Then he turned on his heel, facing Shizuka again. "One more thing. Tomorrow first thing in the morning we are going to..."

"Practise, right?" she interrupted him, a heavy sigh escaping her mouth.

"No, let me finish, Shizu. We are going the the market. It has been a while, has it not?"

"Seriously?" she burst out, completely surprised. _Father is making amends,_ she thought with smile. She liked it.

"Shizuka, too loud," he scolded her, though his voice was everything but harsh.

"Yes, I'm sorry. But it's been so long! I can't wait! Father, we must eat dango, like the last time. And you remember that fabric, don't you? Oh, and we absolutely must..."

Her excitement made Harunosuke smile again. His daughter could be so adorable sometimes.

"Alright alright, enough, Shizu." he shushed her with a small laugh. "We will talk all you want, but tomorrow. Go to sleep, you must be tired."

"Yes, of course. Goodnight Father!" She flashed him her brightest smile and disappeared in her room. Harunosuke sighed tiredly, thinking that tomorrow will be a long day. Shizuka on the other hand was already making detailed plans for their outing.

 _Dango, that's for sure_. Eating it while shopping became for them something sort of a tradition. Also, she could use a spare sword. Father was such a fierce teacher that, even though it was bought not long ago, her Kanemoto was almost at its limit. They should have some tea as well, since lately the weather was just delightful. And most importantly, she'd make him buy the beautiful fabric she found some time ago. Back then she couldn't persuade him, but tomorrow, with a slight encouragement, he'd surely comply.

Happy with this conclusion she fell on top of the futon and again felt the strain of today's training. She drifted into sleep almost instantly.

* * *

Shizuka woke up upon hearing the sound of swords clashing. _Is somebody practising?_ _Who the hell would practise at this hour?_ she thought sleepily, but it took her only seconds to come to her senses and realize. A cold shiver ran down her spine.

 _Nobody._

She jumped out of the futon and opened the door. Hearing noises more clearly, there was no doubt. Somebody was fighting downstairs. A lot of men. _Father..._ She hesitated only for a moment. Then she stepped back into the bedroom and put on her practising hakama as fast as she could. The cries grew louder and louder, for a second she could hear Harunosuke, and then they all stopped at once. She sped up even more, grabbed the sword and finally ran off down the corridor.

In the middle of the stairs she froze, her eyes widening with terror. The house looked like a bloodbath. The walls, the floor, everything was red. And in front of her... Corpses.

She could recognize almost all of them and, seeing them in such a state, she felt sharp pang in her chest. The people she knew, people living here; Father's disciples, ladies managing the house, her maids – they were all dead. She didn't want to look, but couldn't stop. The horrifying image burned itself into her brain.

There were also faces she couldn't identify and she assumed they were attackers. _They didn't escape unscathed too. Good,_ she concluded, hatred filling her thoughts completely for a moment.

 _But... where is Father?_ Breaking out from her daze, she went down the stairs carefully, avoiding bodies spread before her. Suddenly she heard him, but the sound terrified her. It was a cry of pain. _No, no, no._ She rushed to the backyard just in time to see his chest being pierced by two swords.

"Father!" she yelled, making the intruders, all four of them, turn around and look at her. Harunosuke also noticed her and though he couldn't say anything, suffering overwhelming him, the message he was sending with his expression was clear.

 ** _Run._**

But it was too late, as the blinding rage already consumed Shizuka's mind. She pulled the sword out of its sheath.

"There's one more," a tall, muscular man exclaimed, eyeing her with a smile.

"Don't let him run away!" the other one said to the rest, making them laugh. It seemed that he was in command.

"This brat ain't going anywhere, boss." The man's grin got even bigger, his eyes filled with cruelty.

Shizuka didn't even register their exchange, instead she was staring at them, bloodlust vivid in her glare. She could feel oni powers strengthen within her, the effect of her raging feelings, but she supressed them. _I won't be needing them._

"A little boy is mad, hm? You even took out your sword, brat?" The tall man was apparently relaxed enough to talk to her. Looking at them and their laid back stances, it was obvious that none of them saw her as a real threat.

 _Good. Without them having their guard up I can end it even faster._

"Sorry, but we have to go. And you have to die," the man said finally with a loud laugh.

 _The short one at the front will move first,_ she thought seeing his feet, not paying attention to the talkative idiot. A second later he charged at her, but she was not there anymore. A look of confusion fleeted through his face, and he only spotted Shizuka when her blade buried itself in his chest. The man coughed up blood and fell heavily to the ground. The others were gaping at her, unable to comprehend what just happened. It was too fast.

She looked at her sword and seeing it stained red made her pause abruptly.

 _I just... I..._

She froze solid, her eyes wide in shock. She tried to wrap her head around the last few seconds, but was unable to. Her body moved instinctively, her mind coldly calculating, concerned only with the next move and gaining advantage. For a moment, she was terrified of herself.

Hearing the other men's voices, she finally regained her senses. She shook her head and clutched the hilt of the sword tighter. For now, she decided to empty her mind out of the useless thoughts and concentrate on her opponents.

"You fucker! How dare you?! I'll cut you into pieces!" The tall man was not smiling anymore, he was furious. They all attacked her at once, making use of their numbers. _I won't be able to fight all of them. I need come up with something,_ she analysed quickly.

Thankfully she knew this backyard like the back of her hand. Every inequality of the ground, its structure, location of the trees and bushes, everything was engraved in her memory. It was a given since she was sparring here frequently with... _No, now's not the time. Concentrate!_ she scolded herself. She was gone before their swords reached her and stepped on the particular part of the land. She executed a move and raised the great amount of dust in the air, the dirt blinding the men and making them cough loudly. Then they heard a loud cry.

When the distraction was gone, they could see that one of them was already dead, a gaping hole in his torso. She backed out of the pool of blood, which was forming on the floor, and smiled at the two left, her grin inhuman. Instead of dodging she decided to charge, since she wanted to end this as quickly as possible. She clashed swords with the tall man, but from the corner of her eye she could see the leader trying to get behind her. She broke free from the opponent's field with a powerful kick to the gut, and heard him groan painfully as he fell on his back.

She faced the leader and launched at him instantly, forcing him to the defence. While they were exchanging blows, the other one has already gathered himself up from the ground. She attacked leader more fiercely, but couldn't really land a hit on him. He was parrying her all the time, waiting for his comrade to recover. _Damn it._

She got annoyed with him and took one of her hands off the sword, and while she barely managed to hold him off, she punched him in the face, finally breaking through his defence. _Father would scold me for entire day for doing something like this,_ she thought briefly, feeling the cut on her thigh healing. She attacked again from a different angle, just to confuse him further, and severed his sword holding arm. He screamed in great pain and fell down, clutching his heavily bleeding limb. She silenced him with a stab to the neck.

His comrade froze for a moment, a hint of fear appearing in his features. Then he stood up, eyes filled with wrath, desire to kill her written all over his face. Shizuka observed him, finding his rage quite useful. _He's no doubt the strongest. Not only his posture, there is some serious skill behind that cockiness_. _Taking him on will be hard_. It took her seconds to conclude.

 _But he has one serious flaw._ She could see him shaking, his emotions taking control over him. After all, a little boy killed his companions. _He'll make a mistake._

She looked around him quickly and noticed something, plan forming in her head. The man attacked her, putting all his strength into blows, while spitting angry insults at her. But Shizuka was too concentrated on parring his sword to care. At the same time she was slowly moving to the right, and he copied her. His eyes were following only her, not minding the surroundings at all. _Just a little bit,_ she thought eying the floor. J _ust a moment_...

She suddenly felt stab to her left arm, quite a deep one. The man gasped as if surprised that he got her, but then grinned, the sight of her blood clearly satisfying him. She berated herself for losing focus, but fortunately her plan could work out even better now.

She could already feel her wound healing and after pushing him away in the direction of the porch, she showed him her arm, she just couldn't help herself. The smug on his face disappeared. His jaw slacked down, eyes widened with aghast in the expression she found very amusing. He took step back, toward the rooms.

 _One._

"You... what are you? Mo.. monster!" he screamed almost hysterically. _Look who's talking,_ she thought with a snort. She gave him a creepy smile and he moved back again.

 _Two._

Shizuka stopped supressing oni powers for a split second and they manifested immediately with her long, ebony ponytail becoming white. She looked at him, her eyes shining with a beautiful shade of gold. The man was now downright terrified and he backed out again.

 _Three._

He stepped into a pool of blood made by his short companion, the one she killed first, and slipped, losing his balance for a split second. That was enough for Shizuka.

 _Now_.

She moved like a wind and slashed the man across the chest, wounding him fatally. His blood splattered everywhere, some droplets staining her clothes and face. His body fell limply to the floor. The fight was over.

* * *

It felt so long, but Shizuka realized that it took only two minutes, maybe three. For a moment everything felt surreal, as if she was in the dream, but as she noticed Father, reality hit her. She rushed there, fell on her knees and clutched his hand. She noted that there were a lot of corpses around him and his sword was stained with blood.

"Father, can you hear me? Father!"

"Shizu...ka," Harunosuke whispered weakly, his eyes fluttering open.

"Father! I'll get you a doctor so hang in there, alright?" She wanted to go right away, but he tugged on her clothes lightly, stopping her.

"No...use. Look at my wounds. You know... too well yourself." She clearly saw that one of the stabs pierced through the place where the heart should be, but she failed to acknowledge that, didn't want to.

"No Father, stop it. I'll call for somebody, so wait..."

"Shizuka, enough." For a moment Harunosuke's voice was almost like always, she remembered him scolding her so many times. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"I need to... tell you, before..." he paused knowingly and her heart started to crack.

"I'm listening, Father," she said, trying hard to prevent her voice from trembling.

"Are you alright? You didn't use... powers," he stated and looked at her bloody clothes, concern in his eyes.

"You saw?" she asked, his sudden comment surprising her.

"You were... amazing. Though that action..." he glanced at her with a reprimand, but it melted into pride almost instantly. Then he grabbed her arm, pulling her closer.

"Shizu, from now on... I want you to... use your real name," he finished and breathed heavily, shallowly.

 _Crack._

"What?"

"Don't ask. Just don't use... Kurai anymore... dangerous." _Dangerous? How so?_ She wanted to inquire further, but then realized.

"So this happened, " she looked around, eyeing numerous bodies that surrounded them "because of our name?"

"Yes."

"I understand," she said after a moment, gazing at him.

"And also... Sawamura... remember th-" He wanted to say something more but started coughing up blood. She winced seeing him is so much pain. _You can't break down. Not yet._

"They did this?" Harunosuke nodded weakly at her question.

"Yes, I'll remember." _I'll never forget._

"M- Kaneyasu, take it," Father said, pushing his sword towards her, a little bit reluctantly. When she took it out of his hands he frowned. _Frowned._ "It belongs... to you. Better take good care... understood?" he whispered.

"I..." she was at loss for words. She couldn't think of a better reply, so she bowed deeply to him. "Thank you, Father. I will treasure it."

"Shizu..." His eyes were fading, the hold on her hand loosening its grip.

 _Crack._

She tried her hardest not to cry, but to no avail. The tears finally fell down her face.

"Yes, Father?" she said, her voice almost breaking.

"You are... my daughter. Do not ever... forget." He looked up at her and smiled gently, the smile that she loved so much. Then his hand fell limp, his eyes closed.

"Father? Father! Father, open your eyes! You can't, you hear me? You can't!"

No response. She lost control and started shaking his body, yelling at him.

"Wake up, Father! Please, open your eyes! Father, please, don't leave me, I beg you..."

Soon her voice became hoarse from all the screaming. She slumped down, clutching Harunosuke's bloody robes tightly. Her cracked heart finally broke, shattering into little pieces, each one of them sharp, increasing her suffering. It was over. She was all alone. Father... was gone. She never thought a person could have that many tears.

* * *

Shizuka didn't know how much time had passed. It could have been minutes or hours, she was not sure. The girl was still in the same place, next to Father, her hand holding his, her body slowly becoming numb.

Suddenly she heard noises in front of the gate. She turned her head slightly, not really interested, but the source of the commotion made her eyes widen. A stranger just stepped through the back entrance and when he noticed her, he growled. His hair was white. _Oni_?

There was something animalistic about the man, making Shizuka instantly come to her senses and concentrate, her habits stronger than current mental state. She stood up with Kaneyasu in her hand. _No, somehow he looks different_.

The intruder moved closer and she saw his eyes. They were bright, mindless and... red. _What is this_? She didn't have a lot of time to think about it though, as the man jumped towards her abruptly, his blade aiming at her chest. She dodged and readied the sword.

"Blood, blood, give me blood!" he hissed with an insane laugh and launched at her again. Even though he seemed thoughtless, the stranger's strikes were incredibly strong and Shizuka had a hard time parrying his katana. She managed to push him away and backed out a little towards the house, but then heard another growl, coming exactly from there. She looked over her shoulder, only to see another person, eyes and hair the same as her opponent's. _Damn it!_

She leaped quickly to the side, afraid that getting stuck in between those freaks would equal very fast death, and somehow managed to position herself in front of the two creatures.

"Blood, give me your blood!" they called out in the same manner as before, their faces distorted in inhuman grins. _What is their deal with blood?_

As she observed them closer, she could see that their eyes were unfocused, looking around frantically, and their bodies were trembling slightly. _Is it... because of all this blood around? They're clearly distracted._ She didn't really mind that they were acting like this, as long as their behaviour gave her an opening. She charged in a flash and stabbed one of them in the gut. He bent for a moment, but then looked up at her, still smiling, and attacked her with the same strength as before. She was so shocked that her defence weakened and she felt her side being slashed. She whimpered quietly.

 _How did he? He should be dead by now._ Then she spotted the place where she injured him. The wound was already half healed.

 _What? Just how..._ Something clicked in her mind. _You idiot. The same as you do._ She cursed herself for not thinking. _They are not oni, but of course they're not ordinary human either. What human has white hair and red eyes, you fool?_ Because of her lacking focus she just wasted the perfect opportunity to take down one of those creatures. _Great._

Shizuka held the sword tighter, eager to correct her mistake. The intruders on the other hand looked like as if the remains of their sanity were gone and charged at her at the same time. _Must be my blood. They totally lost it._

Not having the other choice, she released her oni powers and quickly dodged their swords, sneaking behind them. Then she stabbed one man through his back, aiming at the heart. _Now you won't stand up._

He yelped, fell to the floor and soon his body turned to dust, this weird occurrence catching her attention. The other one however didn't let her get too interested in that, and he attacked her with even more strength than before.

But as they fought, having activated her powers, she could feel a significant difference between them. He was no match for her. Sure enough, after a minute the man's head went flying, the fountain of blood raining on her. Then he turned to dust, just as his companion before him.

She was breathing raggedly, exhausted from everything that happened. As she moved to hide Kaneyasu in its sheath, Shizuka suddenly found herself on her knees. Then, as the adrenaline left her system, the pain kicked in, the burning sensation in her stomach making her wince. She looked down, and seeing a deep, heavily bleeding wound she sighed annoyed. _It must've pierced through_. She haven't even noticed it during the fight.

Soon, she felt fatigue overwhelming her and her vision got hazy. As she was balancing on the edge of consciousness, trying hard not to give in, she heard footsteps and then a voice.

"Well, well, what a bloodbath..."

"Indeed."

"And look, somebody did our job for us. And here I wanted to have some fun tonight," the stranger sighed with disappointment.

She heard steps again, and then found herself facing two men. The only thing her fading senses could register was their blue robes, the intense colour standing out in her half-closed eyes. When they noticed her, they stopped abruptly, clearly surprised, but a moment later they unsheathed their swords. She struggled to stand up, protect herself, but in vain. She couldn't move anymore, she was just too tired. She fell to the ground.

"Should we kill this one too, Hajime-kun?" the same voice spoke again, its tone way to cheerful for her liking, considering the subject of his contemplation. But before she got to hear the answer, the exhaustion finally won over Shizuka and the darkness enveloped her.

* * *

 _ **Okay, first chapter down, a lot more to go! I know I threw a lot in there, but I wanted to establish the story as fast as possible. It'll slow down a little (at least for now** **)**_

 _ **Thank you very much for reading, and see you soon!**_


	2. This Dawn

_**Hello world! The second chapter's out, yay! Without further ado (and since I have no idea what to write here), let's go!**_

* * *

When Shizuka woke up, she instantly wished that she hadn't. Even though it was mostly healed, the wound on her stomach still ached like crazy. Also, not knowing why, she felt incredibly numb. She blinked few times to adjust her eyes to the darkness of the room and tried to move, only to find herself tied up.

 _Well, that explains the numbness,_ she thought, gazing at the ropes, as she tried to sit down. However, since her hands were tied as well, she had to settle for kneeling instead. Somebody really did his job well, her ribs were so squeezed that she could only take shallow breaths. The material covering her mouth only made everything worse.

She looked around the unfamiliar surroundings, wondering where she is. Nothing in particular caught her attention, nor gave her any clue about her location. The room was mostly empty, she didn't even find anything to cut her ropes with. _Damn it. I won't be able to just rip them. There's no way, even with oni powers. What am I..._ She suddenly remembered something. _Wait! Did they?_

If she was lucky enough and whoever captured her hadn't searched her properly, then she had a chance. She lowered her back towards her right foot and then closed her eyes in relief, as she felt the bulge in her _tabi_. She started her task right away.

Shizuka was manoeuvring for quite a while, trying to get the Claw out, but that proved to be quite a big problem. With her hands tied, she had to really stretch herself to reach it. While moving like this, her breathing became even more shallow, as the ropes were tightening further around her chest. The pain from the wound was still appearing from time to time, giving her even more discomfort. After a moment of struggle she finally managed to take it out though. She only hoped that she haven't made too much noise. It was still dark outside, with only dim glow preluding the oncoming dawn, but they might've kept watch over her, who knew.

She held the hilt of her _tantō_ firmly and aimed at the ropes. It was a tricky job, to keep cutting without dropping the dagger, especially with her wrists restricted like that, but fortunately she did it without a bigger problem. She freed both her hands and then proceeded to cut the ropes on her torso. Soon, she could take a deeper breath and she did so happily.

She looked at Dragon's Claw with satisfaction, glad that having around became a habit. It was obviously because of Father's... _Ah..._

She suddenly felt overwhelming weakness and had to steady herself with her arms. The pain kicked in again, but this time it was different. Oni powers couldn't do anything about it. She wheezed raggedly and put both her hands on her chest. She found herself breathless, even though the ropes were no longer there. Shizuka looked down at her clothes and noticed that the dark stains were everywhere. Her body began to shake uncontrollably and she had to bite down on her clenched fist to prevent herself from screaming out. It all came flooding back, bringing tears to her eyes again. _So... It wasn't just a nightmare._

It took her a while to calm herself down just enough to think straight. _What am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? Without him I have nothing. No family, no home. Nothing._ The despair started surfacing in her thoughts again, but just then she remembered his words.

 **" _And also... Sawamura... remember th-"_**

He didn't leave her with nothing. She knew what to do, she had purpose. Her eyes ignited with determination. _First let's get out of here._

She approached the door and opened it as quietly as she could. The courtyard before her looked rough, bushes were growing wildly with no rhyme nor reason, but it had a strange charm to it, especially bathed in the pre-morning mist. But she didn't have time to admire its mysterious beauty, she had to get out of here. Once she made sure there was no one around, she exited the room and headed to the right with the hope of finding an entrance fast.

Ever since she started, she kept having this weird sensation and was unable to figure it out. She felt like she had forgotten about something important. Before she left, she double checked the room, also the Claw was safely hidden back in the _tabi_. She finally decided not to think too much of it and continued to sneak through the compound.

A while passed, but Shizuka still couldn't find the exit. She was moving carefully, trying to not make any sound. Also, she had already stopped multiple times, freezing when she heard the tiniest noise, in the result her pace became awfully slow. Part of her just wanted to make a run for it, but she knew it wouldn't end well. She didn't know this place, so if she was to speed through blindly, she could easily get lost. Or worse, and more likely, get caught. She still didn't have the slightest idea who had captured her, but seeing how she got tied up and gagged, she could easily assume that their motives weren't very peaceful. But on the other hand... When she woke up, she was covered tightly by a blanket, even though the nights were already getting warmer and warmer. And most of all – she was still alive.

 _But maybe they kept me like this so they can... Damn it_. Once she realized that this was most probably the reason, she became even more confused. _Why would they want to interrogate me? Because of the incident in the house? It's nobody's business what happened there. Unless..._

She focused on remembering the events from earlier, and after a while she was able to recall men she'd seen before she lost consciousness. They were talking about "their job", then unsheathed their swords. _And this thing at the end, what was it? It was surrounding them..._

She suddenly found herself facing a tall man. She was so surprised that she backed out reflexively. She looked at him and recognized the clothes. _The men before. They were wearing blue, just as him._ Her eyes widened. _The_ _Shinsengumi?_

Fortunately, she recovered quicker than the man and reached down to her waist, towards the hilt of Kaneyasu.

Nothing. _What?_

She glanced down, only to see that there was no blade. She realized that they must've taken it, and finally understood the strange feeling from way back. But that was not the issue. _They took Father's sword. They took Kaneyasu. I must get it back._ She didn't even flinch when the tip of a spear touched her chest, too concentrated on the missing katana.

"Just where are you going?" the man spoke politely, but she could see his arms tighten on the weapon, ready to thrust in case she did something suspicious. But she didn't care. She glanced up at him, the intensity of her stare taking the stranger aback.

"Where is my sword?" she asked quietly, barely holding her raging emotions back. The man looked at her with a little smile.

"We took it, of course. But it seems you were able to free yourself without it just fine." He eyed her from head to toe with a curious expression.

"Give it back," she said, ignoring his comments. She was now furious. _How dare they take Kaneyasu away from me. I'm.._ Her train of thought was interrupted by a sudden yell.

"What the hell is going on, Harada?" They both turned around, towards the voice. There was a man with long hair standing there, his expression far from pleased.

"Oh, Hijikata-san. I was just bringing him to the common room."

"Why he's not tied though?" the man inquired with a deep frown and shot a scary glare at her.

 _He? They think I'm a guy?_ She glanced at her clothes, just now remembering that she was still wearing her blue practising hakama, not a very womanly outfit. And she was covered in blood, a lot of it staining her face as well. Not ladylike at all. The girl remembered that the attackers back at the house also mistook her for a boy. She couldn't blame those men for doing the same, considering her appearance, but... She still felt offended. Upon seeing Hijikata's stare she turned away, to his annoyance. Harada was looking at them for a moment, confused, in the end facing the man.

"Well, about that..." He scratched the back of his head, trying to find the right words.

"He was trying to run away," the new voice said and another man stepped out of the shadows.

 _Just how many of them is creeping around here?_ she thought briefly. The new soldier looked at the man called Hijikata with a smile, and rested his hand of the hilt of his sword in the leisure gesture, though Shizuka could sense the tension rising.

"Should we just kill him?" he said lightly. The words were oddly familiar and she glanced at him. This was the man she saw back at the house. _Well, this guy is a little too fond of killing for my liking. What's his deal?_ A snort escaped her mouth, making the men stare at her with surprise. She just looked away, angering Hijikata again. He inhaled deeply and turned to his companion.

"No killing. We need to interrogate him first," he said and she didn't miss the hidden threat. "Follow me, the others are waiting already."

Then he headed deeper inside the compound. She felt a hand on her arm, gripping it in a strong hold. She decided to follow obediently, since she needed to get the blade back. _I can't do much without it. Showing oni powers is no good, so I won't stand a chance without a weapon. Once I have it I could try to get away, there's only three of them._ She looked at the men, concentrated on their movements. They didn't seem very alert, but Shizuka could feel something more to it. The gave off a vibe similar to... his.

* * *

She was still analysing her situation, in the meantime their odd group finally reached the destination. They entered, pushing her in front of them. As she glanced around the place, her hope for escape died quickly. _Nine men in total. Three I could handle, but nine? There's no way. Crap..._

The man with the spear guided her to the very centre of the room and gestured her to sit. For a while all of them were just looking at her, the awkward silence making her uncomfortable. After what seemed like an eternity, one of them finally spoke. And only annoyed her more.

"Is that a witness? So small and skinny, are you a kid?" he asked turning towards her.

"You're the one to talk, Heisuke," the other man said, voicing Shizuka's thoughts. "You're a kid too," he laughed, ruffling young man's hair, an action the younger clearly found irritating. He slapped the hand away with a pout.

"At least I'm not an old man like you, Shinpachi-san."

"Oi, brat, what did ya..."

"Silence," Hijikata's voice cut in, ending their bickering immediately.

"Sorry for this ruckus," the man sitting in the middle spoke with an embarrassed smile, the apology catching her by surprise. She didn't let herself get relaxed though. _You need to keep your guard up,_ she remembered. She hardened her gaze, making his smile fade slightly. He was looking at her for a moment and then continued.

"You're in the Shinsengumi headquarters" he stated, confirming her earlier conclusions. "I'm this troops' leader, Kondou Isami." After that he gestured at the man sitting on his left, introducing him as Sannan Keisuke. The man gave her a quick nod and looked away. Then Kondou turned towards the man who was constantly glaring at her.

"And this is our vice commander, Hijikata Toshizo..."

She was looking at Kondou wide-eyed, his speech leaving her confused. _Why would he tell me all of this?_ Hijikata seemed to be of the same opinion, cause he interrupted the commander mid-sentence.

"Kondou-san! Why would you tell him all of this?" he yelled with a displeased expression. Kondou stared at Hijikata for a second with surprise evident on his face.

"Oh, I shouldn't do that?" he asked, his childlike obliviousness making her crack a little smile. The vice commander just sighed, rubbing his temples with his palm. Kondou didn't notice this display of resignation and turned towards one of the men.

"Saito, tell us what happened first." One of the men looked up and nodded. She recognized him as the other soldier she'd seen back in the house.

"Yes, commander. We followed the failed soldiers and the trace led us to Kurai household." When he mentioned Harunosuke's name Kondou's eyes widened, though he didn't say anything. "When we arrived they were already... dead."

The short pause caught her attention. _Soldiers? There were no soldiers..._ Suddenly she remembered something. Those oni-like creatures were covered in blood, but they were wearing... _Blue. So those freaks were from the Shinsengumi troops? What the hell?_ In the meantime, as she was considering this, Saito was finishing his report.

"The vice commander decided to take the witness with us. That is all." They all nodded, acknowledging his words. Then Hijikata turned to look at her, his face stern.

"What were you doing there?" he asked, not wasting any time. Shizuka already thought through her options earlier. She decided to tell the truth, at least for now, and see how this would turn out.

"I lived there," she answered simply, making all men look up at her. Kondou especially was observing her closely. Then he reached behind him and took out something Her eyes sparkled with recognition. _Sagami Kaneyasu._

"Why do you have this blade?" he asked seriously, his gaze not leaving her face. His question triggered the memories of earlier events, but she didn't let the pain that struck her show in her expression.

"It was given to me," she said, her voice strong.

"By who?"

"By Fa... " She almost told him by reflex, but stopped herself. _He didn't want me to use our name anymore. I can't admit I'm his daughter and then say I'm Yukimura. I don't even know if they're friends or enemies._ She still didn't understand everything that had happened, but she trusted Father's judgement. If he told her to hide her identity, he must've had his reasons. She'd do this his way.

"By Kurai-sama" she said quickly, hoping that they haven't noticed her hesitation. "He entrusted it to me before... " She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, but there was no need to, since everybody knew the details.

"And who are you to receive such a valuable thing?" Hijikata inquired, eyeing her suspiciously. She went through her possibilities and decided to go with the safest option.

"I was a maid in Kurai household."

"Oh, a maid. That explains... " Kondou murmured with understanding, but then he must've realized something because he stopped mid-sentence and looked up at her with aghast. "Wait, a maid? Meaning, you're a girl?!"

Upon hearing those words, the men who were bickering earlier cried out in surprise.

"Wha? What do you mean a girl?" They seemed just as stunned as Kondou was, earning Harada's chuckle and Hijikata's heavy sigh. After a minute, they recovered enough to start asking questions.

"If she's a girl why is she dressed that way? How are we supposed to know for sure?"

 _What a bunch of idiots._

Harada grinned slyly and looked at her.

"Why don't we strip her to find out?" he proposed, making her send a death glare his way. The two men looked like they were seriously considering this, however Kondou didn't get the joke.

"What are you talking about? This is unforgivable!" he yelled outraged, a blush colouring his cheeks. Harada raised his hands in a surrendering gesture and flashed a smile at Shizuka, which she ignored.

"That won't be necessary. She's a girl alright," the man with emerald eyes said, speaking for the first time since they got here.

"And how do you know that, Okita?" one of the idiot duo asked. The man turned his eyes towards her.

"It was me who carried her to the compound, after all," he said while looking right at her, a cocky smile on his face. The whole room became awkwardly silent at his words, the meaning behind them blatantly obvious. _He... He was feeling me up?_

Shizuka had to stop herself from reaching for Dragon's Claw and burying it in his chest. Instead she was throwing daggers at him with her eyes, her fist clenching the fabric on her leg. He looked really amused at her reaction, only angering her further.

"Souji!" Kondou scolded loudly.

"He did not do anything," the calm voice spoke. "I was with him the entire time, so was the vice commander." Saito glanced at Shizuka, his eyes assuring, making her a little at ease. Still, she didn't plan to forget Okita's words.

"That's mean, Hajime-kun. You didn't have to tell her."

"Enough of that!" Hijikata cut in annoyed. He turned towards her, coming back to the main subject again.

"Why would Kurai-san give his sword to a maid?" he asked, apparently still not convinced by her story. She understood where Hijikata was coming from. A sword is like a lifeline for a swordsman. If one was forced to give his treasured blade away, it wouldn't be given to just anyone.

"Because I was the only one left alive. I was knocked out at the very beginning and when I woke up I found Kurai-sama in the backyard. He decided to leave the sword to me." Kondou nodded sympathetically, but the vice commander was not satisfied.

"You were knocked out? Then you didn't see the attackers?" he threw the questions at her.

"I didn't see anything," she said, hoping that Hijikata will understand her words the way she wanted him to. _Better hide it. I don't know what they'd do if they'd find out that I know about those monsters._ He was staring at her, his eyes unreadable. The man remained quiet for a while, as if considering her answers and then resumed his questioning.

"How did you, a maid, know Kurai-san so well? To the point where he gave you his sword? It doesn't seem like a normal master-servant relationship to me," he prodded, not minding that Kondou was quietly calling his name in attempt to stop him.

"Well..." She was at loss for words. Again, the vice commander had a point. She was a woman and a servant, and Father was the master of a household, a noble. She wouldn't be even allowed to look at him, yet alone talk to him freely. True, circumstances might have forced them to interact, but still, it all sounded suspicious. Not to mention the fact, that Shizuka was terrible at acting like a maid. Hijikata's hard glare didn't leave her face, he was waiting for an answer. She decided not to think too much and tell the truth again.

"It's true, that we didn't share normal master-servant bond. Kurai-sama was... different from your everyday nobleman. He treated us all very well," she said with a little smile, forgetting herself for a moment. Men eyed her with curiosity, but Hijikata still doubted.

"It still doesn't explain why..." he started, his voice bringing her back to reality. She straightened herself and cut in.

"He was teaching me swordsmanship," she said loudly. Her statement left all the men dumbfounded, including Hijikata (what she noticed with satisfaction). This was probably the first time they've heard about something like this.

Only Kondou, who was watching her closely since a while back, appeared to be unfazed. He smiled and his grin kept growing, until he broke out laughing, a sudden outburst getting everybody's attention.

"Kondou-san?" Okita spoke hesitantly, looking at the man with concern.

"To teach a young lady swordsmanship, really... That's just like him." he chuckled quietly and Shizuka looked up at him wide-eyed. "Ever since I met him, he was always ahead of our time," Kondou said pensively, more to himself than to others. Hijikata turned to him.

"You were acquaintances with Kurai-san?" he asked shocked.

"Well, more or less."

"How come you haven't mentioned it once?"

"I knew him way before you joined the dojo, Toshi, so I never really thought about mentioning it. And you didn't ask either," he stated earnestly.

"Kondou-san..." he murmured with resignation, a heavy sigh escaping his mouth.

Shizuka was really surprised at first, but something occurred to her. _So that's why he was always defending them... He knew the commander himself._

Then Kondou turned to her with a gentle, soothing smile.

"He must've been really fond of you," he said simply, but his words meant world for her. It may have made her heart clench painfully, but somehow she was also happy. She managed to crack a little smile in return.

"Thank you," she answered, her voice barely louder than a whisper. They were looking at each other for a while, silent understanding forming between them. Okita was observing them closely for a while and then spoke, his tone eerily cheerful.

"So, what are we going to do with her?" he asked, bringing the group's focus back onto the main topic.

"She said she doesn't remember a lot. It's not surprising, given a hell she's been through," Harada reasoned, earning affirmative nods from most of the men, especially Kondou. Only Hijikata and Okita were sceptic.

"We don't know if she's not lying to us," the latter countered, his voice suddenly ice cold. "I say we should just kill her, to make sure she doesn't spill anything." She looked at him unamused. _There he goes again with his killing fetish. What's with this guy?_

"Don't even think about it! We can't go around killing innocent civilians, we are supposed to protect them!" Kondou reprimanded him harshly, making the man glance at him with repentance.

"That was just a joke. A joke," he said unconvincingly.

"Then make your jokes sound like jokes," Saito deadpanned and Shizuka almost broke out laughing at Okita's expression.

It seemed Hijikata had more to say, but Sannan beat him to it.

"We haven't asked her the most essential question yet, Hijikata-kun."

"Which is?" He leaned towards the man with a frown, an indication that he might've overlooked something important a clear jab to him. Sannan didn't mind Hijikata's glare and shifted his eyes onto Shizuka.

"What is your name?" he asked with a polite smile. Hearing men's groans, they must've just realized it, and honestly, she was the same. She turned to Kondou quickly.

"Forgive me for not introducing myself properly. My name is Ku... Yukimura Shizuka," she said and bowed in a greeting gesture. There was no response, so she raised her head, only to see that all the men were staring at her again. _Did they notice my mistake?_ she wondered, their silence making her nervous. Hijikata broke out of the daze first and looked at the man behind her.

"That's it for now. Innoue-san, take her back."

"Yes, of course," the man answered and raised from his seat. He went outside and she followed. Once they distanced themselves from the common room, Innoue stopped suddenly and turned to Shizuka.

"These men... Sometimes they don't think at all," he sighed and gave her a warm smile. "Are you hurt somewhere?"

"No I'm not," she answered a little taken aback by the man's kind expression. Her wound healed long ago, even before Harada caught her. He nodded, relief evident on his face. Then he pointed at a nearby well.

"In that case, why don't you clean up a little? You must be quite... uncomfortable like this," he noticed tactfully.

True, Shizuka felt really filthy with the blood all over her. The clothes were not even nearly as bad as her face and neck. She glanced at him gratefully and accepted the offer. Once she finished washing, she breathed out in relief. It felt great to get rid of all those stains.

"Thank you very much," she said to the man and he smiled again.

"Oh, it's nothing. But now, let us go on. We'll both get in trouble if they won't find you back in the room," he explained.

 _I could run away, but they still have Kaneyasu. I guess I have to wait for now_. She sighed and followed Innoue back.

* * *

In the common room, the men waited for commanders to talk. It was quiet for a while now, and it was weighing down on everybody. Finally, Sannan broke the silence.

"Yukimura... It's not a common name. What do you think, Hijikata-kun?"

"You mean she might be related to him?" Harada inquired.

"The hell if I know. It's a pretty long shot. But he did mention his daughter once, didn't he?" Hijikata turned to Sannan.

"Yes, he said something about his long lost child."

"Hmm..." That was all the answer Hijikata had given, his expression tense. "We won't exclude that possibility for now. Maybe she'll be useful later on," he concluded after a moment.

"What about more pressing issues, Hijikata-san? She might have seen the soldiers," Okita cut in. "It doesn't matter whether she's Kodou's daughter or not. If she's a threat to us we should just..."

"Enough," Kondou spoke, his voice serious. "We won't do anything to her, understood Souji?" He looked at him with stern eyes, making the younger man lower his head with a sigh.

"Yes, Kondou-san."

The commander then glanced at the men at his side and gave them a little nod.

"There's no choice. She'll stay here for now," Hijikata stated and all men looked up at him.

"Hijikata-san, you know she's a girl, right?" Heisuke said, earning the vice commander's glare.

"Of course I know, you fool," he hissed and the boy flinched slightly. Hijikata was rubbing his temples, exhaust visible on his face.

"She'll stay in the Yagi house, so the other soldiers won't see her. I want you to watch her." He glanced at every captain separately and they all nodded in agreement. "And don't let her out."

"Meeting's over," Sannan spoke up and the captains slowly emptied the room, leaving the three men in charge alone.

"What are you planning, Kondou-san?"

"We all know, that what happened in Kurai household wasn't just ronin or bandits, Toshi," he looked at him knowingly, surprising Hijikata with his insight.

"Certainly," Sannan said. "But do you suspect someone, Kondou-san?"

"For now she'll remain here. This child's been through a lot, she needs rest." Kondou ignored the question and stood up. "Speaking of resting, you two get some sleep. It's only dawn," he ended, gazing at the first beams of sunlight emerging on the horizon. Sannan and Hijikata were looking at him as he left and then faced each other. They both knew Kondou was not telling them everything, but for now they decided to remain silent. They trusted their commander.

* * *

Shizuka was laying on the futon again, but couldn't fall asleep. Her head hurt awfully, its regular throbbing driving her insane. Everything has happened so fast, she still had a hard time processing all the events. Most of things were too agonizing to think about. After a while of exhausting struggle with the pain attacking her from every possible direction, she noticed that it's useless. It still ached the same way. So she finally decided to shut her heart out completely. She'd bury the memories of happy days deep inside and focus on present.

 _Feelings make you weak. I can't allow myself for weakness._ She had a goal and was determined to see it through to the end. _I'll destroy the Sawamura family,_ she vowed.

She glanced out the opened window, the dawn already lighting up the surroundings. This sunrise marked the end of her life. _From now on, I'll be just existing. And I'll avenge all of you._

Shizuka looked away, the beautiful glow suddenly too bright, too hopeful for her to handle. She closed her eyes.

 _And then... I'll follow you, Father._

* * *

 _ **And, the second chapter is done! The story's finally getting on the right tracks, and I think it will go more smoothly from now on. And Souji made his first appearance (okay, second, but the other one was too brief, so yeah)! Let the fun begin!**_

 _ **Thank you for reading and feel free to share and opinion. See you soon!**_


	3. Friends

_**Hello world! It's finally time for the third chapter!**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

* * *

It's been already two weeks since she started living in the Shinsengumi headquarters. She was getting really anxious, she wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. Sadly, it seemed like that won't be happening for a longer while. Later that first day, when they called her out again, they'd told her that she'll stay here for the time being.

 _"You'll need to keep disguising. We don't want to cause a commotion by having a woman in the compound," Hijikata told her. "Also, you won't be leaving your room." She looked up at him in astonishment._

 _"Won't be leaving my room?" she repeated his words, eyeing the vice commander with anger. He met her stare right on, not saying anything. Kondou's gaze wandered from Shizuka to Hijikata, the tension between them making him visibly nervous._

 _"You must be exhausted, so we want you to rest for now," he rushed with an explanation, trying to clear the air. "And there's no safer place than our headquarters," the commander reasoned, but she knew better. They were keeping her imprisoned. She looked at Kondou, ready to argue with him, but seeing him she froze, the words forgotten._

 _"We figured, you'd like to have this back," he said and held Kaneyasu out to her. When she grabbed the hilt, her fingers tightened instantly and she almost cried out in relief. Instead she closed her eyes and bowed to the man._

 _"Thank you," she answered him, her voice filled with raw emotion. In that moment she forgot about being careful, she was just too happy. Kondou simply smiled at her, without words. In her excitement she didn't notice that Hijikata was observing her very closely._

So there she was, just sitting in one room all the time. After getting the sword back she didn't have the heart to fight with Kondou, so in the end she had to remain here. She was slowly losing her mind out of boredom. Shizuka might've had a reputation of a slacker, but she wasn't that lazy. She wasn't used to being so passive.

The girl thought that once she gets Sagami Kaneyasu back, she'll be able to somehow get out of here, but the very first night of her confinement proved her wrong. The moment she opened the door, she felt a hand of her neck. She looked up to see Hijikata's vicious glare, then he threw her back in. They were watching her all the time.

She folded the futon and sat down, breathing out heavily. After a while she heard noises outside and curiosity got the best of her. She opened the window and looked out. Then she scowled upon seeing the idiot duo (that's how she'd called them after their display of stupidity during their first meeting), but didn't leave. _This is the best kind of entertainment I'll get,_ she realized and sighed again.

"What's wrong, Shizuka-chan?" a voice called out. She was aware of Harada's presence from the beginning, but she didn't answer, only glanced at him briefly. She was doing her best to ignore the guards' attempts to start a conversation, since she was finding it a bother. The only person she'd talked to throughout those two weeks was Innoue. She just couldn't bring herself to be disrespectful to him.

Her gaze returned to the two men. After a fast warm-up they started practising with their _bokutō_ and she clenched her teeth at the sight. She wasn't able to train for a while now and she could feel her body getting out of shape. Somehow it just didn't feel right and she figured, that it was the power of routine. For the first time in her life she was more than eager to have a lesson with... She shook her head. _Let's not think about it, or it'll drive me crazy._ She concentrated on the idiot duo.

Their spar was quite a spectacle, making Shizuka's eyes widen. Both men had an amazing skill and great technique. Their styles were different, but equally good. While the taller man was mainly attacking with powerful blows, the boy, who was smaller and definitely was no match for his opponent in terms of sheer strength, was relying on speed and quick counterattacks. They weren't leaving any openings, making the fight very even. She was watching them with excitement, completely lost in the moment.

"You're liking the fight?" Harada smirked, waking her up out of her daze. She looked down at him, startled. His voice was loud enough to catch the attention of the two men and they turned to them, stopping their spar.

"Yo, kid! Finally out?" Shinpachi called out cheerfully.

"Does that look like I'm out?" she spat out annoyed and stretched her hands around the window pointedly. All three of them stared at her, taken aback. They didn't really expect any answer. Heisuke was the first one to express his surprise.

"Woah, you finally spoke!" he exclaimed and she realized that she in fact did. _I really was going insane from all this boredom. It just slipped._

"Well it's a high time. I was kind of hurt, you know, Shizuka-chan?" Harada said with a laugh and glanced at her. She looked back at him unamused, but his grin only got wider. The other two also started to snicker at her face and she turned around with a huff.

"Aren't you being too familiar?" she hissed at him, but he didn't seem to mind, he didn't answer either. The two men got a little closer, apparently encouraged by her reaction.

"Yeah, you're right," Shinpachi agreed, answering her earlier outburst. She shrugged.

"How are you doing?" Heisuke asked, offering her a smile. _Guess they won't give up now,_ she sighed.

"What do you think? I'm in this room all day, with nothing to do," she complained, frowning. "Seriously, your vice commander is such a pain. It's not like I'm going to run away." Shizuka looked down. "I don't have a place to go anyway," she ended in a quiet voice. Only Harada heard that and looked at her with sympathetic eyes. The other two laughed at her bitter remark.

"Yeah, Hijikata-san can be pretty strict," Shinpachi nodded.

"Too strict! All he does is scolding me," Heisuke complained.

"It's you, who's constantly up to no good, kid. That's why you're getting punished," Shinpachi countered, making the boy gasp in outrage.

"Oi, Shinpachi-san! What do you mean? You're the one who's always starting things. And I'm not a kid!"

While they were bickering like this, Harada stood up and turned to Shizuka.

"I'll try to talk to Hijikata-san and convince him to let you go out," he said out of nowhere. She looked up at him in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" he answered matter-of-factly.

"Thank you." She gave him little bow. Harada gazed at her and his expression relaxed into a smile.

"There you go. You finally livened up."

She stared at him, caught off guard, but he just turned towards the still arguing men.

"Weren't you in the middle of something?" he asked and they looked at him, confused for a second. Shinpachi, who was faster to understand, tightened the grip on his sword and attacked younger man in a blink of an eye. Heisuke was only a moment slower, but it was enough. His _bokutō_ ended up on the ground.

"Ha, I win! You're buying tonight, Heisuke."

"That's not fair!"

"It's perfectly fair. You shouldn't have let your guard down, kid." Shinpachi then threw his fist into the air in a victorious gesture, while the boy was muttering insults under his breath. They both joined Harada in front of Shizuka's window.

"What do you think?" Shinpachi nudged at Harada.

"Not bad," he praised, patting his comrade's arm in a friendly gesture.

"That was so sly, Sano-san," Heisuke said bitterly as he stood next to them. Older men simply laughed at his whining. Seeing an incredible pouty face that he was making, Shizuka almost broke out with a chuckle herself.

"Don't worry, Heisuke. We can have a rematch anytime." Shinpachi grinned down at him and the boy brightened at the words.

"You bet. And I ain't gonna let you off easily."

"Of course."

Once Heisuke was humoured, Shinpachi looked at Shizuka.

"I don't remember introducing myself before. I'm Nagakura Shinpachi." He lowered his head slightly and then showed her a wide smile. "Captain of the second division and the most handsome guy around here." His flashy introduction made the other men sigh with resignation and Harada smacked him on the back of his head.

"Shinpachi-san, what's with you?" Heisuke yelled with distaste.

"Well, it's true," he stated seriously, massaging his injury. "Just check this out!" Shinpachi then began flexing his impressive muscles in front of Shizuka. Seeing his stunts, she raised an eyebrow in consternation.

"Shinpachi, stop creeping her out," Harada scolded.

"Creep... What are you talking about? Look, they're amazing."

"Yeah, whatever." Heisuke pushed him away, earning a deadly glare. "I'm Todou Heisuke," he introduced himself while looking away, suddenly acting shy. She looked at him, a difference in his behaviour making her crack a little smile.

"Nice to meet you, Nagakura-san, Todou-san," she bowed to them politely. The latter gave her an unsure look.

"Just call me Heisuke. Seems we're around the same age."

"Sure, Heisuke," she agreed and he grinned at her satisfied. Shinpachi was looking at both of them for a moment and then turned to the boy.

"Oi, kid, aren't you getting ahead of yourself? What's with playing all cool in front on her, huh?" he cut in. "Just a moment ago you were blushing like a girl," he accused and Heisuke breathed in sharply, stunned.

"Wha? I... I wasn't! What are you imagining, old man?" he cried, his cheeks reddening.

"Look, you are even now," Shinpachi noticed mercilessly, adding to the boy's embarrassment. Then he stopped suddenly and loomed over him. "What did you say? Old man?"

He threw an arm around Heisuke's neck, trapping his head in a strong grip. The younger man tried to wriggle his way out , but to no avail.

"Ah, let go! Let go of me, you old man!" he yelled, but the words only made Shinpachi tighten his hold.

"I'm gonna teach you a lesson, you brat," he smiled diabolically. Then he turned towards Shizuka.

"See you, Shizuka-chan." He started to drag Heisuke away, accompanied by the boy's enraged screams. "And call me by my name too!" he called out to her lastly.

She was looking at them with amusement. She thought that talking to them would be annoying, since her first impression wasn't the best, but strangely she found their company enjoyable. They were idiots, yes, but at least entertaining ones.

"Are they always like this?" she asked, making Harada look up at her.

"Unfortunately. They never shut up," he complained, though his expression was full of fondness. "You'll get used to it quickly," he smiled at her.

"I guess. I'll be probably staying here for a while," she sighed. He just hummed and comfortable silence fell between them.

After a while Harada stood up.

"I'll better check on them before Hijikata-san finds out. They tend to get really destructive when they are fighting." He started to walk away, but after few steps he turned around.

"I almost forgot. My name's Harada Sanosuke. It's a little late, but nice to meet you, Shizuka-chan," he spoke up and offered her his best smile. The girl frowned.

"Aren't you too forward?" she said again.

"You wish to be called Yukimura instead?" he asked. Her face fell at the sound of the unfamiliar name. She looked away. Harada noticed her distress, but didn't comment on it in any way.

"I just want to get along with you," Harada told her. "Is that a no, then?" She glanced up at him and had to stop herself from laughing at his pleading face. It was amazing.

"Then I'm calling you Sanosuke-san," she proposed boldly, not minding that he was obviously older. He blinked few times, clearly caught by surprise. Then he shrugged with a smile.

"I prefer Sano. Deal," he concluded and turned away on his heel. "See you around, Shizuka-chan," he waved as he walked away.

She was watching him go and wondering what got into her. _Why the hell would I say something like this? It's not like I want to be friends with them. Idiot,_ she scolded herself.

She closed the window quickly and threw herself onto the futon. She would never admit it, but today's encounters weren't that bad. And having someone to talk to felt.. strangely reassuring. Not that she'd ever admit it.

* * *

Harada had kept his promise. A few days later Shizuka was finally allowed to go outside. Hijikata put multiple restrictions though, so basically she could only explore the area of captains' quarters, which was called the Yagi house. As long as the place belonged to the Yagi house she was free to walk around, meaning she could go to the common room, the training hall and the courtyard. However, she was forbidden to get close to the Maekawa house, the place where the soldiers were stationed. She did understand that, they didn't want her to catch the men's attention.

And of course she couldn't leave the compound itself. Hijikata warned her that any kind of disobedience will be severely punished. _But I need to get out of here. I won't find any information here. Damn it._

The next day, she still haven't figured out how to go out without getting herself in trouble. She was passing next to the common room, lost in thoughts, just in time to see the divisions leaving on the patrol. She noticed a familiar face and decided to try and talk to him. _Okay. Now or never._

"Excuse me." Some men turned around at her voice, their expressions curious, so did the person she called out to. She remembered his name was Saito. And next to him... _Okita Souji,_ she remembered annoyed. His "joke", as he called it, was still fresh in her mind, making her unable to view the man neutrally.

"Yes?" he answered after ordering the rest to keep moving. Okita was just observing her. She completely ignored his presence, instead focusing on the man with the dark hair.

"You are going on patrol, right? Could I perhaps... go with you?"

"Why would you?" he asked right away. _I shouldn't mention Sawamaura family. So..._

"I was thinking about asking some people in the town. Maybe somebody else survived. I would like to try and find them." Saito nodded in acknowledgement, but his eyes were unmoved.

"The vice commander did not give you permission to leave the headquarters. I will not go against his orders," he answered seriously and turned to leave.

"Going on patrol isn't a walk in the park, you know?" Okita spoke suddenly. "We can get into a fight anytime and with a frail body like yours I don't think you stand a lot of chance," he said cheerfully, though in her eyes it seemed like mockery. She clenched her fist in anger.

"I can handle myself," she answered coldly, not even sparing a glance in his direction. He snickered.

"Hmm... Is that so?" he hummed. She didn't notice that Saito stopped and listened to their exchange.

"In that case I will test how capable you are. If you are good enough, I will talk to the vice commander," he proposed and Shizuka looked at him gratefully, then bowed deeply.

"Thank you very much."

He nodded and then left through the gate. Okita was gazing at him for a moment with widened eyes, then he glanced at Shizuka.

"I can't wait to see your great skill, Shizuka-chan," he told her with a smirk and joined the rest. She glared at his back irritated.

 _Ugh, he pisses me off so much!_ She breathed out, to calm herself. _Let's not think about him._

She retreated to her room and waited for the divisions to come back.

When they did Saito, to her surprise, found her right away. She lightened up at the sight of Harada, since she wanted to thank him for standing up for her with Hijikata. He waved at her and she broke out into a little smile. It faded quickly though, as noticed who was behind him. She scowled upon seeing Okita.

 _What the hell is he doing here?_ Their eyes met and he smiled at her knowingly, as if he'd read her mind and decided to irk her on purpose. She turned away quickly.

"Let us go," Saito said and she nodded without a word. She followed him to the courtyard and positioned herself in front of him. Harada and Okita sat down on a nearby bench. She looked at Saito, but he didn't move.

"Shouldn't we use _bokutō_?" she asked and Saito looked up at her.

"Why should we?"

"Why you ask..." she trailed off confused. _What do you mean why?_ "What if I hurt you or..." Before she could finish she heard a loud laugh. She gritted her teeth.

"You think you could hurt Hajime-kun? Your skill really must be legendary," Okita said, still giggling. She turned to answer him, a sharp retort at the tip of her tongue, but Saito spoke up, stopping her.

"You can use _mune_ if you want," he stated indifferently, ignoring Okita's comments. She reached for her sword.

 _If he's not going to do it, then why should I?_ she thought briefly. _But what if I really injure him?_ Shizuka considered it for a while and finally flipped the blade to its back. Then she focused solely on Saito.

 _His aura is no joke. Must be pretty strong._ _He's having his swords on his right side. Left-handed_. She was observing him like this for a moment, but he was staying completely still. _He's not going to reach for his sword?_ She looked closer, curious.

His stance, though at first glance seemed relaxed, had a strange tension to it. She recognized this position right away. _Ah...Iai. He's using the quick draw._

It wasn't her technique, but she knew it through and through, thanks to Father who was _iai_ user himself. She was defeated with it so many times, that she learned how to counter it. _But everything depends on how good he is. With Father it was still difficult, even when I knew how to respond. Well, we'll see._

She looked him in the eye and for few seconds they just stared at each other. Each was hyper aware of the other, the rest completely forgotten. Every twitch, breath – everything was being registered and judged. They were standing quietly like this for a longer moment.

Harada and Okita observed closely, intrigued by the girl's behaviour. They were both wondering what was hiding behind that concentrated frown. She didn't see them at all, as her full attention was on Saito. She had to admit that she liked his gravity. It was a clear evidence that he was taking her seriously, and she appreciated that. But above all, she was really excited. It's been a while since she had a chance to practise and this was most likely going to be a great spar.

She was waiting for the moment. She could already feel it begin. Her body and mind joined together, creating perfect harmony. The surroundings became crystal clear. Father had a name for this, but she could never remember it. It was a state of total awareness, when one's brain registers everything but doesn't focus on anything. She thought of it as one of the most amazing sensations and she was ecstatic every time it was happening. Her oni nature was only making it stronger. She looked up at Saito and smiled.

 _This is it. Now._

She charged like wind towards him. He was still standing still. _Okay, now he'll dodge, then he'll try to knock the sword out of my hand,_ she analysed. In split second she reached him and, sure enough, he moved out of the way. Then Shizuka felt a sudden chill. _Wait, what the hell? He's way too fast!_ she panicked. Almost as if in slow motion, she started to turn around. In the corner of her eye she could see him raising his blade in a very familiar move, aiming at her own katana. _I can't lose!_

Before she even thought of that, her body took action. Her pupils became gold and she finished her movement in a flash, meeting Saito's sword. _Perfect._

She pushed forward and after the moment they separated. The man didn't waste any time and charged right away, the strength of his attack stunning her. _Is he even a human? He's too damn fast and strong_! she whined, parrying his sword. Her oni powers were gone and she could feel exactly how powerful Saito was. Her first impression of him wasn't wrong. _This is going to be a tough one._

She breathed out, not allowing herself to lose even an ounce of concentration. She was observing Saito closely, but couldn't really find any cracks in his defence. He was very well trained. _But... Maybe I can use the fact that he's left-handed somehow? s_ he wondered. She figured this sudden idea was worth a try. She gripped Kaneyasu tighter and focused on throwing him off balance, trying to force him into making a mistake by attacking his right side. Saito however quickly caught on and countered accordingly. _Crap!_ she cursed annoyed.

Not having anything to defeat him with, Shizuka realized that she was going to lose. They were equally fast, but the man was a lot stronger. She could already feel her arms aching, the strain he was giving with his blows slowly overwhelming her. Saito of course noticed this and put even more force. Shizuka clenched her teeth, waiting for opportunity to counterattack, but she was too occupied with defending to even try it.

Her focus started to fade, she was losing the feeling from the beginning. _No, get a grip!_ she scolded herself.

Oni powers started to surface, but she was suppressing them, not wanting to use them. She shouldn't have allowed them to manifest earlier, it was too dangerous. But as she was being steadily pushed back, her patience came to an end. _To hell with it. I'm a cheater after all, right?_ Then she let the powers out. She could feel them raging inside of her, eager to come out fully. _I need to be careful. Transforming here would be a complete disaster._ But only this little was enough.

She countered Saito with new energy and now he was the one having trouble with parrying her. She caught a glimpse of his face and, seeing his slightly widened eyes, she smiled slyly. She regained her confidence and met Saito straight on.

But then he surprised her yet again. Very soon he got used to her pace and they were fighting on the equal footing. _Wow, he's seriously amazing. Almost as good as Father,_ she marvelled _. But I won't lose._

The spectators were watching the spar with astonishment. To tell the truth neither of them expected the girl to be very good with sword, even after she admitted that Kurai Harunosuke himself was her teacher. They thought that, being a woman, she might've been introduced to some defence tactics, nothing more. But what she showed today...

It was a display of incredible swordsmanship, the skill so impressive they couldn't utter a word. And she was holding her ground against Saito, one of the Shinsengumi's best swordsmen. She may have made few missteps and had really chaotic style, but it didn't matter. Her movements; the way she dodged, countered – they couldn't stop looking at her. She was mesmerizing. Harada and Okita were so absorbed that they didn't notice another person joining them as an observer.

"What is going on here?" Hijikata yelled suddenly, making Shizuka glance at him briefly. As soon as she did that, she realized she'd made a mistake. A second later she felt Saito's blade on her neck, her own sword laying on the ground.

As Hijikata was approaching them, Saito sheathed his sword. He picked up Sagami Kaneyasu and handed it to her. She was clenching her fists in anger and embarrassment. _Damn it! How could I get so easily distracted? Idiot! s_ he berated herself, her frown deepening. She took the sword, unable to look him in the eye.

"You are very good," he said and she finally glanced at him. "Your teacher taught you well," he added and for a second his face relaxed into a small smile. It disappeared so fast though, that Shizuka wasn't sure if she really saw it. But it was his words that surprised her more. She felt very grateful, her earlier irritation evaporating quickly. She opened her mouth to thank him, but at that moment Hijikata appeared in front of them.

"Care to explain what are you both doing, Saito?" he asked the man, but his glare was directed at Shizuka.

"Yukimura wishes to go outside, so I was testing whether or not she can protect herself," Saito answered simply, clearly immune to Hijikata's threatening stare. "I was about to ask for your permission, vice commander."

"And why would you want to go out?" He turned to her, towering over her menacingly. She seemed just as unfazed as Saito was.

"I was thinking that somebody might've survived. I want to ask around," she repeated her explanation.

"And how can I be sure that you..." Hijikata started again, but she interrupted him with an impatient sigh. _What a pain._

"I won't run away. And if I try, you can always cut me down, right?" She glanced at Okita, offering him a bitter smirk. He just looked at her with innocent eyes. Seeing their exchange, Harada chuckled quietly.

Hijikata's frown deepened momentarily, she was sure that he was trying to find more excuses, but after a minute he breathed out loudly.

"You stay close to the captains and listen to them at all costs. Understood?" he looked at her seriously.

"Yes. Thank you." He answered with a "hmph" and turned around on his heel. Saito lowered his head towards her and started leaving too.

"I want a rematch!" she called out after him. He stopped for a second and she could see him nodding slightly, then he followed Hijikata. She smiled at his back.

* * *

Once they left, Harada stood up from the bench and went to her side.

"Shizuka-chan, that was amazing," he praised her with a wide smile, grabbing her arm in a friendly gesture, She would've shaken it off, but she was too happy to do that. _Finally, I can start,_ she thought excitedly. She returned Harada's grin, though with more reserve.

"Thanks."

"You gotta spar with me too some time," he proposed. Shizuka looked at the _yari_ in his hand doubtfully.

"Against that monstrosity? No thanks, Sano-san." She backed away a little to emphasize her point.

"Oi, how can you call it a monstrosity? It's the best weapon ever," he pouted.

"I prefer swords."

"But spear's range is no joke. You can't land attacks like that with a sword," he protested.

"That's cheating," Shizuka countered. _Like I'm the one to talk about others cheating,_ she thought with a sigh.

"How's that cheating? This is simply one of its merits."

They got themselves into a heated discussion about advantages and disadvantages of weapons, each protecting their own opinion. They were so engrossed in the talk that they haven't noticed that Okita was watching them all this time, his expression unreadable. Then he stood up and joined them, his usual smirk plastered on his face.

"Well, aren't you two getting along well?" he said. They both looked at him taken aback. They forgot about his presence.

"Yeah, we've become friends," Harada answered contentedly, his words surprising her. _Friends?_ She glanced at him and he gave her a soft smile. "Haven't we, Shizuka-chan?"

"Sure, Sano-san," not knowing why she responded and smiled back.

"Oh, that's great," Okita beamed at them, his grin fake in her eyes. He turned around, but before he left he called out to her, looking back over his shoulder.

"Ah, once you go on patrol, you better be careful, Shizuka-chan. You never know what might happen," he ended and gave her an eerie smile.

"I'll remember that," she answered dryly, returning the gesture. He chuckled and disappeared behind the corner. She breathed out annoyed. _Why he always pisses me off so much? And what's with that? "You never know what might happen?" He needs to work on his threats, that bastard._

Harada was observing her reaction with amusement and them patted her on the head.

"Relax. That's just the way Souji is. He's not so bad once you get to know him," he informed her, but she just snorted.

"Yeah, right."

"I mean it," he insisted with a grin. She didn't believe it one bit. _Every captain got more or less used to me by now, but he's only threating me or mocking me. I doubt it'll get better. Seems like he's a natural born asshole,_ she thought.

Satisfied with this conclusion she nodded her head slightly, making Harada gaze at her curiously. He didn't get to ask what it meant, as they were interrupted by a loud voice.

"Hey, dinner's ready!" Heisuke appeared at the other side of courtyard and waved his hand at them.

"We're going," Harada answered. He started walking, but Shizuka stayed in her place. Both men looked at her encouragingly.

"C'mon, you should eat with us," Heisuke said cheerfully. Harada nodded in agreement.

"I don't know if I..." she hesitated, the memory of Hijikata's annoyed expression fleeting through her mind.

"Oh, it's alright, don't worry about Hijikata-san," he assured, guessing her thoughts. "The commander will be delighted." Upon mention of Kondou her resolve weakened.

"Isn't it lonely eating by yourself?" Harada spoke and she glanced at him. She couldn't counter this one, since he was right. He noticed her wavering and sneaked behind Shizuka. He pushed her gently, startling the girl.

"Let's go," he ordered and they all headed to the common room.

"We should hurry or Shinpachi-san will eat everything," Heisuke noted with fright and increased his pace.

At the beginning reluctant, soon Shizuka matched their steps. Hearing Heisuke's statement she chuckled quietly. She couldn't help it, their company was so enjoyable.

She remembered Harada's words.

 _"_ ** _Yeah we've become friends."_**

 _Friends._

She didn't know if he was serious when he said that. But his expression in that moment... It was sincere. _Am I even allowed to make friends?_ she wondered, while following two men. _I shouldn't do it. It's not like I'm going to stay here._

She looked at Heisuke and Harada, they were laughing at younger man's another comment regarding Shinpachi. She caught up to them.

 _Screw it._

"If you're so afraid, Heisuke, then don't slow down," she called out.

She decided not to think too much about it. _We'll see what will happen. For now, I'll go with the flow._

Both men looked at her and smiled widely. Then they all hurried together down the corridor.

* * *

 _ **Okaay, third chapter down!**_

 _ **Some afterthought: I actually got a comment, saying that Sano is more suited to be with Shizuka. On one hand I totally agree. Sano's always been my second favourite, and in some aspects, I actually like him more than Souji. He's gentle, caring and sweet, and (compared to Souji) not complicated. He's just a guy with a simple dream. He's also very easy to write, at least for me.**_

 _ **BUT! Once I created Shizu, I couldn't imagine her with anybody else than Souji. In my head they suit each other perfectly. I hope I 'll be able to convey that well in this story, so you won 't be having any more doubts. And I just love him, whatcha gonna do about it? :)**_

 _ **Thank you for reading and some feedback is always welcomed. I 'll be trying my best to upload chapter 4 as soon as possible. Until then, see you!**_


	4. Breakthrough

_**Hello world! A new, shiny chapter is here!**_

 _ **I had a minor setback with this one, since the exam season is here, but I managed somehow.**_

 _ **Enough with the story of my life now. Enjoy!**_

* * *

The streets of Kyoto were loud and lively as always. People rushed somewhere busily, going about their everyday chores. Shizuka noticed that the crowd's reaction at the Shinsengumi is a little better than she'd remembered it. They were still moving out of the division's way warily, but at least the surroundings weren't becoming so tense. The girl voiced her observations, making Shinpachi look at her.

"Yeah, you're right. We've beaten up some ronin and bandits, so now they are all scared to act up again."

"It did get calmer lately," she nodded. "Guess people see it too."

"And they know it's thanks to us," Shinpachi puffed up with a smile. She snorted at his widening grin, but didn't comment it in any way. After all, he was right. The Shinsengumi were finally earning some recognition in Kyoto. It was a slow process, as townspeople hated the Shogunate and were reluctant to accept its followers as protectors. But once the troops minimalized the amount of crime on the streets, they finally noticed their efforts. _Can't say they love them, but at least they're not opposing anymore. Better than nothing,_ she concluded.

She quickly got used to walking on rounds with the divisions. When it came to Heisuke, Shinpachi and Harada, she even enjoyed it.

At the beginning she was worried that the excuse she came up with might not be enough, leaving the captains suspicious. But on one of the first patrols she's been, when Saito inquired about her investigation, she learned how futile her worry was. She couldn't even get close to anybody. Once she tried talking to a nearby merchant, he waved her off quickly, claiming in a panicked voice that he didn't know anything. The same happened with others. The people were distrusting towards the Shinsengumi. She realized that because of that her own mission wouldn't progress either.

 _I don't have any other way to obtain information about Sawamura. But to leave..._ She looked at Shinpachi and the others. The men were both behind and in front of her. Separating from the group without getting caught would be incredibly difficult. _I need to come up with something else._

After finishing their appointed route, Shinpachi's division retreated to the compound. Shizuka headed towards the Yagi house right away, since she wanted to think about her situation some more. Lately, it's been all she was doing.

Some of the men, instead of going to their quarters, remained on the courtyard and she could hear their conversation. They were talking about her.

"Look at him, the moment we're done he runs to Yagi. He thinks he's better or what?"

"Who the fuck is this brat anyway?" the other added, earning acknowledging murmurs from his companions. She could feel their stares, but she didn't turn around, nor showed any signs that she'd heard them. It wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Ever since she started going on patrols, she became the object of the soldiers' hatred because of "special treatment" she was getting. The fact that Hijikata haven't really explained this situation only made it worse.

"Hey you brat, what the hell is your deal?" one of the men called out to her. "Is your fucking daddy some kind of a big shot?" When she heard those words, she stopped abruptly. _Don't. It's annoying, but harmless. No need to mind them,_ she tried to calm herself _._

However, seeing her reaction, they continued with their loud comments, making her unable to control her nerves. Finally she turned around, fire in her eyes. But before she took even one step towards them, one of the captains appeared and soldiers fell silent.

"What are you still doing here? Your rounds are over, go back to your rooms," Okita said and the men left right away. _Damn it, why him of all people?_ she wondered. She didn't want to, but lowered her head slightly, thanking him. Then, before he could react, she rushed to her room. He was looking at her escaping figure, her steps so fast that she was almost flying. He chuckled at the sight.

* * *

She was following Harada, who came to pick her up for dinner. She was so lost in her thoughts that she haven't noticed his curious gaze on her.

"Something's wrong?" he asked. She looked up at him startled.

"Ah... No, everything's fine," she answered automatically. He eyed her suspiciously.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah," she assured, but he didn't look convinced.

"So why the long face?" he prodded. "C'mon, you can tell me. Maybe I'll be able to help you," he said and offered her a gentle smile.

"The thing is..." she hesitated and he gave her an encouraging nod. "I still haven't found out anything. People won't talk to me."

"That's normal. Our reputation in Kyoto is not exactly the best."

"I know. But it's so annoying!" she exclaimed with a groan. "It's not like they'll get stabbed if they talk to me for a minute. It's been more than two months already and I still know nothing." He looked at her, his eyes sympathetic and patted her head, ruffling her hair.

"They'll talk to you eventually, you'll see. For now, be patient. And cheer up!" he offered reassuringly and she couldn't help but smile at his words.

They entered the common room and sat at their usual spot. Shinpachi and Heisuke welcomed them with a smile.

"Sano, you took your time, didn't ya? I'm starving!" Shinpachi spoke up and then started stuffing his mouth with rice. "Shizuka-chan, eat up," he mumbled. She nodded and picked up the spoon.

 _Hmm, today must've been Saito's turn to cook,_ she realized the moment she tasted the soup. _How can he make everything taste so bland?_ According to him seasoning was unhealthy, so he was not using any.

She would never say it out loud, but the food made by Okita was hundreds times better, even if the men often complained about the dishes being too salty. Shizuka haven't really noticed that, for her they were really tasty. _I'm actually praising him? I must be out of my mind,_ she shook her head at the ridiculous thoughts.

She looked up and there he was, sitting right in front of her. _What kind of arrangement is this? It must be some sick joke_.

He didn't notice her gaze, he was absorbed in a chat with Saito. She caught herself at staring for too long and looked away quickly, embarrassed. She turned to the men next to her and concentrated on Heisuke's conversation with Shinpachi.

"Shinpachi-san, you already ate yours, stop going for mine! Seriously..." he grumbled.

"I'm bigger than you, kid, so I need more food," he countered and attacked with his chopsticks again, stripping Heisuke's fish further out of meat.

"Oi! Shinpachi-san!" Heisuke yelled outraged. "It's me who needs more food. I'm still growing after all, right?" he reasoned and attempted to steal from the older man's plate.

"Ha, too slow!" Shinpachi mocked, easily protecting his food. Unhappy with the results, Heisuke started the argument all over again. Shizuka smiled at their bickering.

"Good thing Hijikata-san's not here. They'd never hear the end of it otherwise," she said.

"My thoughts exactly. Those bastards are especially loud today," Harada agreed with a sigh and she chuckled seeing his annoyed face. He looked at her, puzzled.

"Don't tell me you enjoy this ruckus?"

"At least it's not boring, right?" she responded with a grin.

"You have weird preferences," Harada concluded seriously, but then smiled back.

"Says the man who uses a stick to fight," she deadpanned at him. He gaped at her for a moment and then, as always, jumped to protect his beloved weapon. Hearing her comment, Heisuke and Shinpachi stopped their quarrel and burst out laughing. Then they immediately teamed up against Harada. He shot her an unpleasant look, but she just grinned again. She liked teasing him.

As dinner was near its end, Innoue entered the room.

"Do you have a moment?" She glanced up, ready to greet him, but his expression made her words die down. He looked very concerned, as if something big happened. The others also noticed this and all talks stopped. He took it as a sign to begin.

"I just received a word from Osaka. They are going back as we speak," he said, but it was visible that he was struggling with something more. He breathed out and continued.

"They heard about ronin harassing merchants so they went to check it. They managed to drive them off, but … Sannan-san got wounded," he stated. Men looked up at him in surprise.

"How serious?" Shinpachi asked the question all of them wanted to ask.

"His... his left arm in severely injured," Innoue spoke finally. Then he excused himself, saying he needs to talk to the commander, and left the common room. Silence that fell onto them was deafening. They all knew what it meant.

Shizuka wasn't talking much with Sannan, since he struck her as a very aloof person, but she didn't have anything against him. _To have one's arm injured... If it's as serious as Innoue-san says, he might not be able to wield the sword._ She sighed, feeling sorry for the man.

"Since it's come to this, he'll have to drink the medicine, right?" Okita said, breaking the silence. Captains looked at him, so did she.

"Don't even talk about it. We can't give up our captains to the Corps just like that," Shinpachi answered him coldly. _Give up? Corps? What does that mean? And what kind of medicine are they talking about?_ she wondered.

"The Corps? You mean the Shinsengumi?" she stated her thoughts out loud. Heisuke shook his head at her question.

"No, the Shinsengumi is us. The Corps we're talking about are..."

"Heisuke!" Harada and Shinpachi yelled in unison, cutting the young man off before he could finish. The latter hit Heisuke across the head.

"Ouch," he whimpered, rubbing his injury. He looked at men and just then realized his mistake. "Sorry," he said meekly, shrinking back.

"Think before you open that damn mouth!" Shinpachi scolded him. He turned to Shizuka, his expression stern.

"That's all you're going to hear about this matter. I know you must be curious, but don't ask," he told her seriously and she just nodded.

After this incident the atmosphere in the common room became so tense and uncomfortable, that most of men left without even finishing their meal. Shizuka also headed to her room, lost in thoughts.

 _Other corps? And they won't talk about it..._ She understood quickly. _Ah, this must be about those creatures. So there's an entire division of them? Where are they hidden though?_ She stopped suddenly and looked back, towards soldiers' quarters. _Don't tell me... The Maekawa house? Are they insane, keeping those monsters so close? And they can escape just fine,_ she thought, remembering her first encounter with them. All of this was very intriguing, but she decided to stop bothering. _I have plenty to think about without this crap_ , she concluded and continued on her way.

* * *

It was already dark, when Shizuka went out of her room to get some fresh air. She'd spent good few hours trying to think about the way to obtain some information, but it all came down to one thing. _Since people are afraid of the Shinsengumi I'd have to separate from them. But even if I somehow do it, afterwards Hijikata's gonna give me hell on earth. Damn it._ She was going in circles for past few weeks and her patience was really at its end.

She sat down on the bench with a sigh and looked up. _Wow, the moon's so bright tonight. Pretty,_ she marvelled. The breeze felt nice and soon she found herself relaxing.

"You can't sleep?"

"Something like this," she admitted without turning around. Kondou sat down next to her and for a while they were both just gazing at the night sky, not saying anything. It was strange how comfortable she felt. Normally, she'd be wary of him. Even with Harada, the one she was definitely the closest to, she was still careful not to say too much. But Kondou...

Not knowing why, his presence was giving her the sense of security. They've met here like this few times already, but every time she was caught off guard by those feelings, and honestly, it was scaring her. As time passed, the man reminded her more and more of... _No, let's not think about this,_ she shook her head, supressing the memories even before they could surface. Finally Kondou broke the silence.

"I found these in the cupboard. Would you care for some midnight snack?" he offered. She glanced at him and noticed a small tray in his hand. _Seems like there's awfully lot of those in the cupboard,_ she chuckled. Surely enough, looking closer at colourful shapes, she recognized the sweets he'd brought many times before.

"Thank you," she said and took a piece of candy. Kondou smiled at her response, but then suddenly his expression became serious.

"I must apologize," he started and she stopped mid-bite, confused. "I didn't know that soldiers were bothering you." _Oh, it's about this._

"Kondou-san, please don't worry about this. I don't mind."

"But I do. You are our guest, so this kind of behaviour is unforgivable," he stated earnestly. _Guest? I could argue with that one..._

"I understand why they are like this," she tried to reason with him, but he didn't look convinced. She was at loss for a moment.

"Kondou-san, somebody once told me this. There are a lot of people in this world. Some of them will try to hurt me and I can't do anything about it. But out of all the methods to do so, words, especially the ones spoken cowardly behind my back, should not be worthy of my concern." She smiled at him reassuringly. "I really don't mind." He was observing her closely for a longer moment, then he looked at the stars pensively.

"You sound just like him," Kondou said quietly, she wasn't sure she'd heard correctly. "You're right," he added louder and patted her on the head. "You are really mature, K- Yukimura.

"No, I'm not mature at all," she admitted with a little laugh. "Actually, he would always tell me..." she started, but then realized what she was saying and fell silent. _Damn it,_ she cursed. Her chest suddenly felt tight and she breathed in sharply.

Kondou didn't comment on her words and just looked at her quietly. Just when she was about to excuse herself, before she did something even more stupid, he spoke again.

"It must've been really hard." His words made her eyes widen. "Having your life turned upside down and when you're this young. I can't even imagine..." She clenched her fists to prevent her hands from shaking. Seeing her tense expression, he rushed with an apology.

"I understand you don't want to bring this up, I really do. But know that," he seemed to struggle for right words "if you ever need something, I can always hear you out," Kondou ended and coughed awkwardly, clearly not used to this kind of conversation.

"Thank you," she answered finally, her voice just a little bit unstable. _I need to get out of here quickly, before I break down in front of him,_ she thought frantically. She looked up at him just to see his face light up in a gentle smile. She couldn't take her eyes off of it. _It... It's the same._

"You should go in and rest," he stood up and gazed down at her.

"Y...yes. I will go in a minute," she said quietly, careful not to let him see her face. Kondou nodded and headed back.

When he left, she had to hold onto the bench, otherwise she would've fell. Her other hand landed on her chest, trying to somehow ease the pain that struck her. _It's been... a while. I almost forgot this feeling._ She felt the tears on her cheeks and wiped them roughly, but they got wet again so quickly, that soon she stopped bothering. _How could I not see this before? His smile... It looks exactly the same._

* * *

Some days later she was on patrol again, this time with Okita. Usually Shizuka would avoid such situation more than fire, but this time she didn't really care. She had a lot on her mind. The girl still felt depressed after her talk with Kondou, but most of all, she felt mad at herself. _I shouldn't have lost control like this. Idiot._

She was so lost in her thoughts, that she'd already bumped into several people, earning few nasty stares. Okita was watching her curiously, but didn't comment on it in any way. This finally caught her attention and she looked up at him, their eyes meeting. She expected seeing his half-smirk or hearing something rude, but none of those happened. He stayed like this for few seconds, then turned away, gazing at the stalls. _Hm? No snarky remarks? No mocking? What the hell?_ Only now she'd noticed that today he was strangely mild. She instantly got very suspicious.

Shizuka collided with yet another person, though this time she wasn't spaced out. She looked around and her eyes widened at the amount of townsfolk on the streets. Even the distance they normally kept from the division was smaller.

"Why is there so many people?" she mumbled to herself.

"Must be because the Gion Festival is soon," Okita answered.

 _Oh, right. It's around this time of the year,_ she thought absentmindedly. Then she realized what just happened and gaped at him, taken aback. He noticed her expression.

"What's wrong, Shizuka-chan?"

"Did you hit your head?" she blurted out without much thinking and he chuckled at her words.

"I don't recall anything like that," he responded after feigning consideration for a moment. Okita then leaned in, towering over her. "Why do you look so startled? Are you flustered, perhaps?" he inquired with a grin.

She looked at him, now downright shocked. _What is going on? First, he's barely talking to me and now he's chirping as if it's the most natural thing in the world. But thinking about it... It's been a while since I've heard any stupid comments from him._ She glanced up at him and decided to voice her observations.

"What happened to you?" she asked openly, sure that he'd understand what she meant. He looked back at her and she saw something flicker in his emerald eyes. However, before she could identify it, it was gone. He opened his mouth to answer her, but right then they heard one of the soldiers speaking up to someone.

"Hey, are you ronin? Give me the name of your lord right now, if you even serve one. Hurry up!"

Just as Shizuka and Okita got closer to the group, people noticed the scene and started panicking. They created a big commotion and she got pulled away by the crowd. After a moment of struggle she managed to jump sideways and ended up in front of some shop. She looked around, but couldn't spot Okita anywhere nearby.

She almost started searching for him, but stopped, remembering something. _Wait. This is my chance! I could ask around a little before he finds me._ She turned back and decided to talk to the owner, who was now standing in the entry, probably driven out by the noises.

"Excuse me," she bowed slightly to the man. "Can I..."

"There's some big brawl over there. Why don't you wait it out inside, young man?" the owner cut in and gestured towards his shop. This interruption was strange to say the least, but she figured it was her only opportunity. She nodded and followed him.

Suddenly, one of the employees appeared in the back.

"Boss, this guy is one of the the Shinsengumi!" he yelled and the owner turned to her, terrified. Then they all started running off, some of them pushing her out of the way. She lost balance and would've fell, but in that moment, she felt strong grip on her arms. She looked up, just to see Okita's smile.

"Well look what you've found, Shizuka-chan," he said cheerfully. He moved her gently to the side and blocked the escape route. Then he entered the shop with his men. She wanted to follow, she didn't really know why, but he stopped her.

"Wait outside," he ordered and disappeared.

She could hear sounds of swords clinging, some painful groans and mighty yells. _They must be having fun there,_ she concluded with a snort.

* * *

Her knees were starting to hurt. Right after they've returned to the headquarters, both of them got called out by Sannan. Apparently he already knew everything and, seeing his expression, he was not pleased with the news. Now Shizuka and Okita were kneeling in the common room, the general commander looming over them menacingly.

She noticed a change in Sannan. She met him as a calm and quiet man, but ever since his injury happened, he was constantly annoyed. She understood this, though. Harada had told her, that the man was working for the the Shinsengumi just as hard as Hijikata.

 _He must feel so miserable now. Suddenly unable to do a thing that was as easy as breathing before... Of course he would try to vent his anger somewhere._ She gazed at Okita, who was being scolded. It seemed that currently he was this "somewhere".

"Given the situation, I did what I had to. I found illegal weapons, so I arrested the people involved." He looked up at Sannan, Shizuka a little impressed by how unfazed he was. If looks could kill, Okita would be long gone, but he was meeting this harsh stare right on. _Damn, he's even smiling,_ she noticed.

"C'mon, it's not something to lose your head over, Sannan-san." Okita said pleadingly, but it didn't work. Actually, it seemed to have the opposite effect.

"Not something to lose my head over?" he repeated dully and she almost flinched when she saw his expression. _Wow, this guy makes Hijikata's temper seem like nothing._

She was considering speaking up to explain, but after seeing his face she immediately abandoned the thought.

"My head is exactly where it's supposed to be. Perhaps you should inquire after yours, Okita-kun," the general commander responded in an eerily calm voice and she almost laughed at this comment, it was so fitting. She figured however, that grinning would only make their situation worse, so she suppressed it.

Sannan told them that the owner of that shop had a fake name and was a Choshu spy. Shizuka nodded, since she's realized that much.

"We were perfectly aware of their actions, but we let them be in hope of gaining information." He didn't have to add that by doing what they've done, they ruined the Shinsengumi's plans.

"I had no choice," Okita shrugged, the tone of his voice betraying that he knew how weak of an excuse that was.

"He's right. It already went down to this, so he picked the best option possible. And it wasn't a total failure." Harada, who was in the common room as well, spoke up, defending the kneeling pair.

"Yeah, but don't you feel bad for Shimada and Yamazaki? They've been staking the place for so long..." Heisuke stated obliviously and Shizuka almost hissed at him. _You're not making it any better with those smart ass opinions, you moron._ He noticed her expression and fell silent.

Then she looked at two men who stepped out. _Those are the spies, right? I think I've seen them around before._

"We were getting nothing new for some days now, so Okita-san did us a favour," the man said in a polite voice. The other one, the one dressed all black, nodded, agreeing with his companion. Shinpachi laughed, patting both of them on arms.

"Those guys are the definition of calm and reasonable, aren't they?" Then he looked at Okita. "Souji on the other hand..." he smirked.

Shizuka's conscience was jabbing at her for a while now and she finally had enough of it. _Okay, I don't like him, but I can't let him take all the blame._ She looked up at Sannan.

"It was my fault," she said in a strong voice. Okita looked at her, his eyes widening slightly. "There was a commotion among the crowd and I lost sight of Okita-san. I ended up in front of that shop and they recognized me as one of the the Shinsengumi. He just cleaned up the mess I made," she explained, but Sannan's face didn't change.

"His task was to look after you, was it not?" he answered, staring at her. She held his glare, not wavering.

"But circumstances separated us. He cannot predict everything," Shizuka reasoned.

"As one of the Shinsengumi captains, he should know that the unforeseeable situations shall be taken into consideration as well," he countered and she realized that this was going nowhere.

 _He doesn't even make any sense. What a load of crap._ She smirked at him, a scornful smile reflecting her thoughts. Seeing Shizuka's expression, the man's eyes turned ice cold.

Hijikata entered the common room, breaking the tension, and men threw questions at him. Sannan looked away.

"What did the guy say?" Harada asked.

"Those lunatics wanted to set Kyoto on fire and kidnap _daimyō_ in the commotion," he stated and all captains looked up at him, surprised.

"What the hell!? Are they for real?" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"They were supposed to meet in an inn tonight, to plan further." Hijikata added and then glanced over captains. "Get ready. We move out."

Baka duo yelled enthusiastically, the thought of an oncoming fight clearly agitating for them.

"Sannan-san, Yamazaki, Shimada, come with me," the vice commander said and went out.

Right after they left Harada reached out a hand to Shizuka and helped her on her feet.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, thanks," she responded. The man looked down at her, his eyes suddenly serious.

"You should probably go to your room. We'll be going out soon." She gazed at other captains and then back at Harada. _He's right. It's not my business anyway._

"Got it," she said and left the common room. Okita also stood up and glanced briefly at her retreating figure.

* * *

She was passing by Hijikata's room and heard voices inside. She didn't think much of it though and just continued walking.

"Are we going to send them as well?" Yamazaki asked.

"They are too unstable," Sannan said. She slowed her pace involuntary. "Sending them would be more trouble than worth," the man explained. _They must be talking about those creatures._

"Did the prisoner say anything about him?" Sannan inquired and she could hear Hijikata let out an annoyed grunt.

"No. It seemed like he's never heard the name before. Shimada, Yamazaki, what about you?

At the change of topic Shizuka started going away, finding captive's confessions much less interesting.

"The entire time we've been observing the shop, Sawamura hasn't appeared once." The moment she heard those words, she stopped abruptly, shocked.

 _Sa... Sawamura? Did I hear correctly?_ She couldn't move for a moment, her legs shaking slightly. Then she approached the door quietly and kept listening.

"That damn bastard sure is careful," Hijikata spat out with a sneer.

"However, we got our hands on an interesting rumour," Shimada spoke up. "Apparently, some people saw Kodou-san in Kyoto."

"Kodou-san in Kyoto?" Sannan repeated mechanically.

"Yes. And he wasn't alone." There was a moment of silence, then she could hear Hijikata inhaling sharply.

"Don't tell me. Sawamura?"

"At least that is what we have heard."

They were still discussing, but Shizuka wasn't paying attention anymore. Hearing that name again, this time clearly, had even bigger impact on her. She flinched, her fists clenched tight enough to draw blood.

 _I finally got something. After all this time, finally!_ There were so many emotions raging inside of her that she felt overwhelmed.

Once she more or less regained control over herself, she started thinking. _I need to somehow join them tonight. I spies said he might be in that inn._

Suddenly she heard steps. She turned around and moved away from Hijikata's room as fast as she could. Then she walked right into Kondou.

"Yukimura, what are you doing here?"

"I..." she stammered, searching for an excuse.

"You are excited as well, right?" he said, looking around. She did as well and noticed a gathering near the entrance, soldiers' voices loud in the stillness of the night. "They are preparing so eagerly, of course you'd get influenced by their attitude." He laughed jovially and glanced down at her, waiting for an answer.

"Oh, yes," she agreed quickly, mimicking his enthusiasm the best she could. Kondou seemed to be satisfied with her response and stepped closer to her.

"Then why don't you join us? It will get busy there, so we could use a messenger," he explained to her. She was staring at him, taken aback by his offer. He took her silence as a sign of reluctance and started hesitating. "Of course you don't have to feel obligated if you don't..."

"I'll go!" she exclaimed fiercely, grabbing his sleeve. He looked at her, a little startled by her reaction. "I want to go," she repeated a little less forcefully, letting go of him. _Did I overdo it? Damn it,_ she cursed. Then she felt his hand on her head, patting her. She glanced up to check his expression.

"That's the spirit! Very good, Yukimura, I like it," he said with a wide smile, and she sighed in relief. "Hurry and prepare now. We'll be going out soon."

"Yes," she answered with a little bow. Kondou nodded and headed to where she came from.

Shizuka ran down the corridor and entered her room. She tried to calm down, but in vain.

 _He might be there. Maybe I'll see him,_ she thought. Unconsciously, her hand went to the hilt of Sagami Kaneyasu and gripped it strongly. She unsheathed the sword and looked at it, its sharp edges shining brightly in the moonlight. _It's perfect._

She checked her tabi for Dragon's Claw too, just to make sure. _Okay, I'm ready._

She went out and walked towards the main gate to join Kondou's division. Once she got closer, she smiled upon seeing familiar faces.

"Oh, Shizuka-chan, why are you here?" Shinpachi asked, him and Heisuke looking at her with surprise.

"I'm your messenger," she answered.

"Oh, is that so? Well, the more the merrier," the man said with a big grin and she just shook her head in resignation at his reckless attitude.

She glanced over other people and spotted Okita. Everything happened so fast, that she didn't have time to process his strange behaviour on their patrol. Now, as she was looking at him, some of his comments came back. He noticed her gaze on him and offered her a crooked smile. She turned away, annoyed. _Flustered? Yeah, right._

In the meantime Kondou arrived and was now standing at the front.

"Our group's target is Ikedaya. Let's go," he ordered and guided the men outside. She looked around and noticed that their numbers weren't very impressive. _Only ten men?_ This amount was not nearly enough for a raid of such a big inn as Ikedaya. _So that's why he wanted me as a messenger. He has no men to spare,_ she realized.

As they were passing the dark streets, she suddenly found herself nervous. It wasn't cold, but her arms started to shake. _No, I need to focus. They said that man might be there, I must be ready._ Shizuka held onto Kaneyasu again, hoping to calm her nerves. And soon, she felt her strength slowly coming back. _Thank you._

She straightened her back and looked ahead, her gaze unclouded, her pace steady.

 _When the time comes... I will definitely kill him._

* * *

 _"Y...yes. I will go in a minute." Kondou agreed without a word and left Shizuka alone on the bench. Before entering his room, he stopped at the steps and looked up at the sky one more time._

 _"You raised your daughter so well, my friend," he said quietly, as if talking to the stars above. He smiled briefly and stayed still for a longer moment._

 _When he turned towards his quarters, he noticed a man._

 _"Souji! Why are you still up?" he scolded lightly._

 _"I was just heading back, Kondou-san."_

 _"Yes, hurry and go," Kondou said and went inside himself._

 _Okita went down the corridor and stopped just before the turn. He looked at the courtyard and spotted a figure crouched next to the bench. He was observing the person for a longer while, until some time later she went to her room, her steps slow and wobbly. Then the man turned on his heel and retreated to his own room._

 _"A daughter, hm?"_

* * *

 _ **Okay, chapter 4 down! Honestly, I'm not sure about this one. I kept going back and forth about various things. Damn, as the story goes on, it gets more and more demanding. I don't even wat to think about the budding romance…**_

 _ **Yeah, speaking of the romance. I'm still kind of scared to write Souji, but in this chapter I ﬁgured 'You need to ﬁnally start using this guy, he's supposed to be the main lead, dammit! Don't hide behind Sano!' and I stepped out of my comfort zone, even if just a little bit. I will study Souji more and will gradually attack you with him, just give me some time.**_

 _ **Feel free to leave a review, I want to know what you guys think**_

 ** _Thank you for reading and see you soon (I hope)!_ **


	5. Worry

_**Hello world! It's been a while, hasn't it? But I'm here, and so is the fifth chapter of my story!**_

 _ **Let's begin! Enjoy!**_

* * *

The night was warm and quiet, but this stillness felt somehow disturbing. It reminded Shizuka of a calm sky right before the beginning of a great storm. She didn't like it one bit, but decided to ignore the obtrusive thoughts and kept walking. She was just returning from an errand. Kondou asked her to check if the reinforcements were on their way, as it's already been a longer while since they've arrived at Ikedaya. The moment she rejoined their group, Heisuke went up to her.

"And? You've seen anybody?" he asked, his tone hopeful.

"Nope. The streets are completely empty." His face fell momentarily at her words, then he gritted his teeth in anger.

"Damn it! We told them in advance that we'll be needing more people. What do they take us for?" he sneered bitterly. She looked at him, the same irritation appearing in her own eyes. They were silent for a moment, Heisuke's face becoming more and more grim with every second.

Shizuka's ears caught silent voices and she turned around to see Shinpachi and Okita standing nearby.

"Isn't it weird? Not only they're meeting right next to the government building, but they're doing this the very same day their spy got arrested? Seems pretty fishy to me." Okita didn't have any answer for him, as his opinion was the same. Shinpachi noticed them, and seeing Heisuke's face, he understood immediately.

"Any news?" he asked anyway.

"Nothing." The older man just sighed, his expression darkening as well.

 _Damn it, the guys are becoming dispirited. Those Aizu bastards, what are they playing at?_ Shizuka really hated how unfairly the Shinsengumi were treated. She was around them for long enough to see how honorable and committed captains were. She could finally understand Father's words. _They really are good men._

She looked at the group in front of her. _Okay, let's liven the things up!_

"You know what they say, Shinpachi-san. It's always the darkest under the candlestick," the girl started, referring to his earlier statement. The men looked up at her. "Maybe that's their strategy, to confuse us," she wondered out loud and approached them, looking around. "Or maybe..."

She lowered her voice to a conspirational whisper, as if she was going to share a really important secret, making Heisuke and Shinpachi step closer to her, curiosity written all over their faces. Okita was much more reserved than his companions and settled on just observing her. She prolonged the silence for few more seconds, making the tension rise...

"Maybe they're just idiots. I'd go with this second option," she ended finally in a matter-of-fact tone and the idiot duo blinked at her in unison, confused. Then they broke out in quiet chuckles.

"Pfft, what was that, Shizuka-chan?" Heisuke managed to utter.

"My theory," she deadpanned and their laughter continued.

"Makes sense to me," Shinpachi agreed with a wide grin.

She smiled, happy that the men cheered up. She noticed Okita's gaze on her and offered him a crooked smirk, similar to the ones he's always been giving her. He just let out an amused sigh.

Some time later Kondou, who's been talking for a longer while with Yamazaki, joined them and looked at Shizuka.

"Yukimura, you should stay away," he warned and she gaped at him. _No, I need to get in there!_ She wanted to say something, but his serious expression was leaving no place for any argument. She lowered her head in defeat.

Then he turned to the captains and his nod was enough for them to understand. Before she realized, the door to the inn got opened with a loud thud, Kondou standing at the front.

"We are the Shinsengumi, the retainers of Aizu Domain! You are under arrest! If you resist, there will be no mercy!" he yelled, his voice echoing throughout the building.

"Way to announce our arrival," Okita laughed, reaching for his sword.

"And put us in disadvantage," Heisuke grumbled.

"Stop whining. It's good manners to inform them who are they against," Shinpachi answered with a big smile. And with that the fight began. The silence of the night got disrupted by the sounds of the swords clashing and the pained yells of the defeated.

* * *

It's been a while already and she was pacing in front of the entrance nervously. Every time she heard a scream she'd flinch, startled. She was slowly going insane from worry. _What if one of ours got hurt? Maybe I could go and help somehow? Damn it._

She was torn. She didn't want to disobey Kondou's order, but, hearing their struggles, it was really hard to keep herself away. _Also... That man might be there,_ she remembered, adding to the anxiety she felt.

Suddenly, she heard a well-known voice among the ruckus.

"Hey, anybody? We need some backup!" _Shinpachi-san._

Other soldiers decided to sneak in from the back and left few minutes ago, so there was nobody who could listen to the man's plea. Nobody except for her.

She took few unsure steps towards the door, then stopped. But upon hearing the yells again, her hesitance faltered. _They need help. I can help,_ she reasoned, trying to convince herself. With that thought, she finally went inside.

The moment she stepped through the entrance the familiar scent hit her nostrils. She looked around just to see numerous bodies, walls stained with their blood. She stared at the carnage in front of her, the sight reminding her of what had happened in her own household. Everything looked eerily similar. She shook her head quickly, trying to chase away the images that have appeared. _Get a grip, there's no time for that,_ she scolded herself harshly. She took a deep breath, ignoring the stench, and kept walking.

There was nobody around, the fight was already going on deeper inside the inn. She followed the noises and at last noticed some of the Shinsengumi.

"You needed help?" she called out, pulling Sagami Kaneyasu out of its sheath. Shinpachi looked over his shoulder in surprise.

"Shi... What are you doing here?" he asked and stabbed the man who tried to approach him. Then he turned to her. "Kondou-san told you not to go in. It ain't a place for you, you should leave."

"I heard you need more people," she countered.

"We'll be fine."

"But I can help! Stop being so stubborn," she said and he looked at her.

"Can you kill a person?" he asked seriously and she stared at him, caught off guard.

In that moment three opponents appeared from the room behind Shinpachi and, seeing the danger before the man did, Shizuka moved past him instinctively. She dodged the man at the front and welcomed the second ronin with a strong kick, making him and his companion fall back to where they came from. The first man didn't even have time to react before she turned around and her sword reached him. He collapsed, the wound in his back bleeding heavily. She looked back at Shinpachi with a little smile.

"I can manage," she answered his earlier question. He was eyeing her closely, his weird expression catching her attention. _What is it?_

As enemies were slowly standing up, Shinpachi grabbed her arm and guided her behind him, his face normal again.

"Got it. I will handle things here, so you go and help upstairs."

"But I..." she wanted to oppose again, but he cut her off.

"Just go." He pushed her lightly and she slowly went away, looking back constantly. The man seemed to have control over the situation, so she decided to leave the enemies downstairs to him. W _hy did he make such a face, though?_ she wondered while making her way back to the staircase.

Shizuka flinched upon hearing a loud bang. She ran towards the sound and noticed a man at the very bottom of the stairs, fresh blood coming out of the cut on his back. He was still moving though and she readied her sword. But before she could do anything, somebody jumped down from above and finished off the enemy. She looked up and found herself face to face with Kondou.

"Yukimura, why are you here?" he asked, his tone harsh, making her feel like a child caught on doing mischief.

"I... I heard you needed help, so I figured..." she stammered, avoiding his piercing eyes. In this moment, he looked more intimidating that Hijikata himself.

"I admire your courage, but this is not a place for a young lady like you," he explained in a slightly calmer voice.

 _But I can't go out now. I still need to help them. And Sawamura..._ she thought frantically.

"I'm not afraid," she said with confidence. They were observing each other for a moment, she knew he was testing her. She didn't let her gaze waver. "I'm alright," she assured again. Kondou let out a sigh and looked away. He muttered something under his breath, she caught the word "obstinate", and started to climb the stairs.

"Be careful, Yukimura. I don't want you to get hurt," he warned and she offered him a reassuring smile.

"Commander, there's more of them!" they heard and Kondou sped up. She followed and saw few soldiers trying to break through the enemies' defense. _They are protecting this room like crazy. Somebody important must be there,_ she figured and then stopped abruptly. _Don't tell me... Him?_

"Where's Souji?" Kondou asked while rushing to help his men.

"Captain Okita is at the end of the hallway. It seems like he stumbled upon a strong opponent," one of the soldiers answered. "He told us to move on."

Just as Shizuka went to join them, Kondou turned around and locked gazes with her briefly. He didn't say anything, but she understood.

 _Help him._

She didn't want to. She was looking at him, unable to answer. _What if Sawamura's there? It might be my chance!_

Commander's pleading eyes didn't leave her face, he was waiting. She knew she'd lost. She just couldn't bring herself to disappoint this man. She nodded finally and seeing this, he gave her a grateful smile.

 _Stupid, stupid! I'm so stupid!_ she cursed herself as she was running down the corridor.

* * *

Once she reached the room she slowed down, wanting to approach as quietly as possible. The door was half opened so she peeked inside. She spotted Okita right away, he was facing her. The captain didn't notice her though, as his full attention was on the ongoing fight.

She'd heard about Okita's skill few times already, but didn't have the opportunity to see him in action. The rumors, especially the one about him obtaining Menkyo Kaiden at the age of eighteen, seemed a little exaggerated to her. This license was incredibly hard to get; it was given only to the most talented and strong, after years of hard training. Thinking about her experience with him, she doubted that Okita, out of all people, would have the perseverance to do it.

But it took her just one look to know that it was all true. Shizuka was gaping at him for a while, mesmerized.

 _I have to apologize to him for thinking that he's a slacker,_ she thought while observing his moves _._ She recognized his style, it was Tennen Rishin-ryū. She quickly recalled the spars of the other captains and realized that Okita was probably the most skilled out of all of them. _Each of them is great, but I think only Saito could match his technique,_ she analyzed. The man was holding his ground, his sword sure and fast. His fighting was truly a captivating sight.

She looked away reluctantly, and finally glanced at his opponent. He was shorter than Okita, his hair blonde. _He can't be one of the ronin. His clothing looks way too fancy,_ she noticed. Then she gasped at the sudden thought. _Maybe... Maybe he's Sawamura?_

"Is that all you can do?" she heard a deep voice, followed with a snort. Okita clenched his teeth at the comment and charged at the man, his attack however was easily blocked. The enemy then took few steps back.

"I will be leaving now. Try to stop me and you will regret it," the man threatened and she shuddered at the sudden chill that filled the room. _What was that?_

"Sorry, but I can't do that. You're gonna have to die tonight," Okita answered with a smile, earning a scoff from his foe. With that they resumed their fight.

Having her eyes on the man, she soon started worrying. He may have seemed like a self-taught swordsman, his moves crude and fighting lacking, and was nowhere near Okita in terms of technique, but he was obviously way more powerful. This sheer strength of his was making him a very tough opponent. Okita was having a hard time, his breathing slightly faster.

She didn't see the man's face, but his whole body looked relaxed, almost lazy, as if he didn't even break a sweat while fighting. _At this rate, he's going to lose. I have to do something._

She abandoned the thought of a direct intervention right away, since she could easily predict Okita's reaction. She didn't know him for long, but she could understand him as a fellow swordsman. Having a third party intervene during the duel was not only annoying, it could also be dangerous. And with his bipolar character, an "accident" was even more likely to happen. _If I interrupt him, he's gonna cut me down too,_ she figured.

She noticed that Okita couldn't land a single blow, the enemy's defense being too strong. _Maybe if I distract the guy somehow, it'll give him an opening?_ She looked around the room and her eyes stopped on a big bowl standing on the shelf right next to her. _This will do,_ she thought. She picked it up and waited for the right moment. _There, now!_

She threw the bowl at the opponent and he raised his sword, smashing it to the pieces without even looking at it. It took him only a second, but her plan succeeded. Okita used the opportunity and attacked fiercely, and though the man still parried, he stumbled, losing his focus. The captain looked at her and his lips moved in a silent message, then he smiled briefly. She made out the words easily. _Good job._

Suddenly she got that sensation again and quickly concentrated on the enemy. The aura around him got darker, it was visible that their little victory infuriated him greatly. Before she could identify this familiar feeling, the man attacked and somehow she knew it was over.

"Useless," he hissed and struck from above with such strength, that Okita's defense weakened for a split second. The opponent smirked at this and then kicked the captain right in the chest, the impact sending him flying across the room and into a nearby _shōji_. He gathered himself up quickly, but then fell on his knees, grabbing his chest in pain. Okita started coughing intensively and she gasped, seeing that his hand was stained with blood.

The man raised his sword again, but she rushed to the captain's side before it could reach him. She grabbed his arm, steadying him.

"Okita-san! Are you okay?" she asked, but he couldn't answer, only ragged wheezes leaving his mouth. She didn't even notice that enemy's blade was getting closer, busy with helping Okita.

"Move," he said in a cold voice and Shizuka finally noticed the katana. She looked up and faced the man for the first time. His eyes caught her attention right away, their crimson color an unusual sight. Then she froze in shock. She was finally able to understand the chill from before. _I knew there was something about him... An oni. Is he really this man, then? Is Sawamura also an oni?_ she wondered, looking him in the eyes.

He was also observing her, but she noticed that his gaze was indifferent, bored. His attitude annoyed her.

"Go to hell," she growled in response, making him sneer in amusement.

"So you want to die too? Fine with me," he concluded and raised his sword, ready to strike her. She didn't flinch.

Just as he was about to attack, he stopped abruptly and stared at her face. His expression became serious. The man opened his mouth to say something, but in that moment she felt a strong hold on her arm, pulling her backwards. Okita stood up and cleared his throat, spitting the remnants of the blood onto the floor. _What the hell is he doing?_

"You fight me. Leave the kid alone," he spoke up, his voice strong. She gaped at him, surprised that he can still move, even after receiving a direct hit from an oni. That attack probably broke few of his ribs, but he was standing there and shielding her as if nothing happened. _What an idiot,_ she cursed, noticing that Okita's body was hunched slightly. She bit her lip in nervousness.

The opponent just snorted at his words.

"You can barely stand, you fool," he countered mercilessly and she could see the captain's back shaking in anger.

"Shut up! I can still fight," Okita insisted. The man just looked at both of them, his eyes lingering a little longer on Shizuka.

"The moment you entered the inn, my business here ended," he said, sheathing his blade. A second later, before they could react, he jumped out of the window, leaving them alone. She took a step in that direction, but stopped seeing that Okita is swaying dangerously.

"Damn it! I can still fight," he repeated stubbornly, but his opponent was long gone.

She stared at him and waited until he glanced up. When he did, she gave him a nasty glare.

"Are you stupid? Why would you do that?!" Shizuka paused, overwhelmed with emotions. She breathed in deeply to calm herself down. "You always threaten to kill me, so what was that? Why the hell would you protect me when you're barely standing?" she asked, her voice sharp.

He was looking at her, his emerald eyes unreadable as always. Then he chuckled to himself, unamused.

"Yeah, why would I do that?" he wondered out loud and, hearing him, her irritation disappeared instantly. His voice was unfocused, distant. _Not good._

"I'll figure this out, but... for now I have to... kill..." He took a wobbly step towards the window. She was observing his stride, readying herself, and caught him just before his face met with the floor.

"Hey, Okita-san!" she yelled. The girl grabbed his arms, shaking him gently, but to no avail. He was out cold. She checked his breathing, just to make sure. _He's alive._

She knew that there was no way she'd be able to take him out by herself. Just holding him like this was already hard enough. She sat down, placing his head on her lap gently. _Damn, what a pain,_ she sighed in exasperation.

She looked at Okita and noticed the trickle of dried blood, his face ghostly white. She looked away. _I was supposed to help him and... Shit._

She couldn't hear any noises and figured that the fight was over. _But who won?_

She concentrated oni powers on her ears and closed her eyes. After a moment she was able to catch familiar voices. She breathed out in relief.

"Can anybody hear me?" she called out. The steps of few people echoed on the corridor and a second later Kondou and two other soldiers appeared in the doorway. One glance at the situation and the commander was already kneeling at her side, checking Okita's condition.

"What happened?" he asked, his dull voice making her look up at him. His face was incredibly pale, though she didn't spot any injuries on him.

 _He must be so worried._

During her stay in the Shinsengumi headquarters, she noticed that Okita was very devoted to Kondou. His eyes would always follow the man and he listened to his every word. Seeing glimpses of the captain's character, she was initially surprised by their closeness, but soon she understood.

Kondou was a wonderful person. He might've seemed a little naive, especially compared to the suspicious vice-commander, but that was not the case. He was just an idealist, choosing to see good in people.

There were moments, instances when she saw why he is the one in command instead of Hijikata or Sannan. He could move his men with his expression alone. His strong gaze was pure and inspiring, making the soldiers follow him gladly. Yes, she could totally understand why Okita was so faithful to Kondou.

But this fondness was going in both ways. The commander treated the younger man like his son and was spoiling him rotten. Not once she witnessed Hijikata's outbursts of anger at how lenient Kondou was with Okita. And Okita loved every minute of it.

So she wasn't surprised when she saw the commander so concerned.

"He just lost consciousness," she rushed with an explanation. Hearing her brief report of the events, he relaxed a little.

"So he wasn't stabbed?" he made sure.

"No, no. But that kick was pretty strong. It might've broken few ribs." His eyes closed and he sighed quietly.

"Take him back and let Yamazaki look at him," he ordered and two men lowered their heads. They laid Okita on the wooden plank and went out of the room. Shizuka and Kondou followed closely.

Suddenly, she felt a gentle pat on her shoulder and glanced up. The commander was looking at her, his brow furrowed.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," she answered hesitantly.

He pointed at her face and she touched it, looking at him in confusion. She felt something sticky on her left cheek and stared at her hand in surprise. _Blood? How?_

He waited for her answer, so she quickly covered her reaction up with an awkward cough.

"Ah, this... It's not mine," she said. After a moment of silence, he nodded, deciding to take her word for it.

As they were preparing to leave Ikedaya, Kondou gazed at her again. When she locked eyes with him, he offered her a smile. It wasn't his usual happy grin though. Not knowing why, this sight made her heart ache.

"Thank you, Yukimura," he said. She clenched her teeth.

"Why? I didn't do anything. And he's injured..." she trailed off. "You asked me to help and I..."

"You helped him," Kondou cut her off. "He's not wounded very badly and it's all thanks to you. Thank you," he repeated and ruffled her hair. She didn't answer, unconvinced.

 _Maybe I should've intervened after all? Then he wouldn't be like this._ She glanced at Okita. She felt very bad, especially remembering Kondou's grateful eyes. _Damn it._

* * *

Once they've returned to the headquarters, she was permitted to listen to the reports. Thanks to the commander's message, Hijikata's group (which at first went to the other inn) managed to get to Ikedaya quickly and help out. They arrested 23 people and lost one soldier. She was surprised, hearing that the raid lasted more than two. _It passed so quickly._

After Hijikata ended, Shizuka looked around and joined Shinpachi, who was standing near the entrance. She noticed that his expression was dark.

"Are you alright?" she asked and he stared blankly at her for a minute. Then he broke out of his daze and gave her a grin that wasn't reaching his eyes.

"Never been better! And you, Shizuka-chan?"

"I'm alr..." she started replying, but something caught her attention. "Are you hurt? What happened?" she exclaimed, pointing at his bandaged hand. He followed her gaze.

"Ah, it's nothing. Just a scratch," he responded, making her frown. "Hey, don't make such a scary face. I'm really fine," he assured.

"Then why are you so down?" she inquired. He looked at her, caught off guard.

"W- who? Me? Nah, I'm good."

"Yeah, right," she answered sceptically. "Spill it."

"You really are scary, you know?" he started, but she knew that he was trying to distract her.

"Yes, I do. Now tell me." She was glaring at him intensively and after a moment he looked away.

"Ah, this is so frustrating!" he yelled out of nowhere, startling her. "That brat told me he's having everything under control and send me off, but there he goes, getting injured like an idiot." _Brat? Injured?_

"Wait, Heisuke's hurt?" she asked and he nodded.

"Got a pretty nasty wound on his forehead. Yamazaki's checking on him."

"Is he unconscious?" she prodded.

"He just woke up," they heard a voice and turned around to see Harada. Shinpachi perked up at the words.

"He did? How is he?"

"Mostly pissed off," the man stated, making her snort. Shinpachi however wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"I'm gonna show him real pissed off. That brat..." he hissed under his breath and headed towards Heisuke's room. She figured that this meeting might end up badly and decided to follow, but Harada stopped her, grasping her arm.

"Wait a moment."

"Did you see him? He's gonna beat Heisuke up!" He chuckled at her words and she looked at him unamused.

"He wouldn't do that. He was just really worried," Harada explained.

"I know, but..."

"Speaking of beating up," he said and she glanced up at him. "I heard you were in Ikedaya." He loomed over her, his fingers tightening slightly.

"Oh. Y-yeah," she stuttered, taking a step back.

"Didn't I tell you to stay in your room? Do you realize how dangerous it was?"

"It wasn't that bad," she said, avoiding his glare. He was staring at her for a longer while, and just when Shizuka started thinking that he'll burn holes in her body, he finally looked away. She offered him an apologetic smile, and he just sighed tiredly.

"Are you alright?" he asked, glancing at her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's not mine," she lied. After Kondou told her about the blood, she kept wondering when she got injured like this and eventually remembered. It happened right after Okita got kicked. _I didn't even notice it back then. I was too busy keeping that idiot on his feet,_ she scowled. Harada didn't look convinced.

"Oh, really?" he raised his eyebrow. "I don't think I ever told you that, but you're a terrible liar." Then, before she could react, he clutched her face with both of his hands and started examining it. At first she froze, surprised by a sudden touch, but after few seconds she found herself relaxing. _It's just Sano-san._

"Hmm. There really is no wound," he murmured.

"Told you," she said with a grin. He let go of her and smiled back, visibly relieved.

"Just wanted to make sure. You can't scar your face, or else you won't find a husband," he stated, and she looked at him with an outraged disbelief, making him laugh. _Husband? What a joke._

"Alright, alright. Wash your face and get some rest. You must be exhausted," Harada instructed and she nodded.

"Yeah, you too." Then she turned around and headed towards her room. _Now that he mentioned it, I really am tired,_ she thought with a yawn. She made a quick stop by the well and wiped the blood off her face and neck.

As Shizuka was passing next to Okita's room, not knowing why, she paused. She lingered there awkwardly for a moment, fighting with herself. _Ah, why should I check on him? He's an asshole._ She resumed her walk, just to stop after few steps, a quiet whine escaping her mouth. _Damn it. What is wrong with me?_ she wondered as she went back to the door.

She suddenly heard something and jumped back, luckily avoiding getting caught by Yamazaki. He looked at her, his eyes slightly widened.

"I... I was just going to my room," she explained and regretted it the moment she said it. _Way to sound natural, idiot. Just shut up and stop embarrassing yourself._

The man didn't say anything, merely acknowledging her with a nod, and started leaving. She clenched her fists, unsure what to do. _Well, since I've already made a fool out of myself..._

"Um..." she began and he looked over his shoulder. "How is Okita-san?" Upon her question, he turned around.

"He's got few broken ribs. He is still unconscious due to shock," Yamazaki answered. _Just as I thought._

"He was coughing blood. Why?"

"The blow caused a pulmonary contusion," he explained. "Fortunately, there was no internal bleeding."

"How long will it take for the injury to heal completely?" she prodded, but the man didn't seem to mind.

"Since his ribs are broken, he'll have to take it easy for at least a month, maybe two." _T... two months?_ she gasped, as Yamazaki's words sunk in. Then she looked at him.

"Thank you," she lowered her head. He returned the gesture and soon disappeared behind the corner.

Shizuka stayed in front of Okita's room a moment longer. She reached towards the door, as if trying to open it, but her hand froze midway, the fingers tightening into a fist. She turned on her heel and rushed out of there. She bit her lip, almost drawing blood. _This is all my fault._

* * *

Some days later, Shizuka was on patrol again. Ever since the Ikedaya incident, the crowd's attitude changed again. The rumors about the Choshu's plans spread among people and the knowledge that it was the Shinsengumi who's stopped it worked wonders. Their expressions weren't terrified or hateful anymore. They might've been still a little wary, but in the corners of their eyes there was a new feeling – respect.

The girl smiled seeing that. _They finally gain some recognition._ Harada noticed her mood and leaned in curiously.

"Something nice happened?" he asked.

"Not really," she said, grinning wider. She stretched her arms in a leisure gesture. "The weather's great, I like it." He stared at her for a moment, doubtful, but his frown eased quickly.

"Good to hear that." He sighed quietly and she looked up at him.

"What?"

"Nothing," he answered. "Just... You seemed down lately. I'm glad you're okay now," he offered her a gentle smile. She gaped at him, taken aback.

Indeed, after that night she couldn't go back to her usual self for some time. She felt really bad with what happened to Okita. Unconsciously, she started avoiding him. It wasn't really hard, since the captain was mostly staying in his room, ordered to do so by Yamazaki, so his wounds can heal properly. She couldn't stop this stupid behavior of hers and was really mad at herself. She tried her best to hide it though, and thought she was doing a decent job. _But how did he notice?_

"Was I that obvious?" she grumbled in resignation. He chuckled at her pout.

"No. But I'm good at those things," he stated and winked at her, making her scoff.

"Good at what things?" somebody called out from behind them and then threw his arms around them, joining them.

"He's a player," Shizuka deadpanned and Shinpachi nodded seriously.

"Yeah, I agree with that one," he said, earning Harada's glare. Nagakura changed the topic quickly.

"Anyway... Shizuka-chan, what about your investigation?" _Oh, I almost forgot about that,_ she realized.

The other reason she was so out of it lately, was because of the man she met at the inn. She was really intrigued by the fact that she'd met another oni. She's never seen any other than Father, never even heard of one. She also wondered if he's the person she was looking for.

Shizuka abandoned the idea of asking around the town, since the Shinsengumi seemed to be onto Sawamura as well. She couldn't say that out loud though.

"No, nothing new. But at least people aren't so scared anymore," she answered and the men started talking about that. She sighed, relieved that they left the subject.

"Did you notice too?" she heard after a while and glanced up at Harada.

"Yeah. People are acting strange." She looked around, puzzled.

They were right. Citizens were more agitated than usual, moving around busily, as if preparing for something. _What the hell?_

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I heard that the Choshu are showing up around Kyoto," Shinpachi said and she stared at him in surprise.

"Even after Ikedaya?"

"Seems like they are planning something again. If they don't back out soon, we'll probably get orders from above," he concluded, Harada nodding in agreement. Then, Shinpachi glanced down at Shizuka, grinning.

"Wanna tag along?"

"Me?" she exclaimed, caught off guard. _Wait... Maybe I could help them somehow? It would be my chance to make things right for Ikedaya,_ she thought, infected by Shinpachi's enthusiasm. In her excitement she didn't notice Harada's sour expression.

"You think I could go?"

* * *

"You definitely can't go," Hijikata said in a stern voice.

After a few days orders from Aizu arrived, just like Shinpachi had predicted. Now they were gathered in the common room to plan their journey. Shizuka was also there, since she was asked to bring the tea for the men. She truly hated doing that, but since it was Kondou who made a request, she couldn't refuse.

But that fact didn't stop her from mumbling in annoyance. _Who am I, some kind of maid?_ she wondered as she was distributing the cups among the captains. _Oh, wait. I actually_ ** _am_** _a maid, at least for them,_ she remembered bitterly, and quickly declared that lie as the most stupid thing she's ever said.

She broke out of her daze upon hearing her name. It was Shinpachi, mentioning her will to join them. That was when Hijikata intervened.

"I do not see any problem," Saito stated, surprising her. "Yukimura-san can protect herself, she has also proved herself useful."

"I agree," Shinpachi spoke up. "You should have seen her in Ikedaya. That was something!" he added and all men looked at her curiously. The only thing she noticed though, was Harada's silent stare.

"I agree with Hijikata-kun," Sannan said. "I am not sure if you understand, but this is war. You wish to go to an actual battlefield merely out of boredom? Because this is your reason, I assume," he ended, his voice biting and unpleasant. She stared at him coldly. _He thinks I'm some kind of idiot? Where the hell did that conclusion come from?_ She opened her mouth to answer him, but Kondou spoke first.

"If you really wish to go, I won't stop you. But I would like you to stay here. It can get really dangerous," he explained. He was so earnest, concern written all over his face, making her words die in her throat. She just lowered her head slightly. The commander smiled, seeing that the girl wasn't going to argue anymore. The same expression appeared on Harada's face.

"But I can go, right?" Heisuke said and Okita looked up at that. Hijikata eyed them doubtfully, but it was Sannan who answered them.

"Todou-kun, Okita-kun, both of you are staying in the headquarters with me."

"I feel good already, I can go," Okita said.

She knew it was a big lie. When she was giving him his share of tea, she noticed how uneven and heavy his breathing was, even though he tried to hide it. His face wasn't any better, slight shadows under his eyes and unnatural paleness were a dead giveaway. He was still far from recovering.

"No," Hijikata replied simply and before Heisuke could speak again, he turned to him. "You're not going either."

The younger man, apparently not discouraged by this blunt rejection, tried another tactic. He looked at the vice commander with the best puppy eyes she's ever seen. She glanced at Hijikata and almost broke out laughing at his grimace. He looked annoyed, almost disgusted, and glared at Heisuke.

"No! Guard the headquarters," he yelled and the boy's face fell.

"Demon!" he whined.

"What did ya say?" Hijikata stared at him and Heisuke flinched. "Kill me? Sure, no problem. Just wait until I get back," he said, the promise making the younger man shrink back.

She heard some noises and looked to her right, where Harada and Shinpachi were seated. The weird sounds was them trying to hold back their laughter and failing miserably, resulting in choked outbursts. She shook her head at their stunts.

"We are moving out at dawn, so get some rest. That's all," Kondou said and the men started leaving the common room.

"Yukimura," the commander called out to her and she turned around.

"Yes?"

"I would like to ask you for a favor," he spoke and she looked at him, slightly surprised. She nodded finally and he continued.

"Can you take care of things in the headquarters? Of course Sannan-kun will be here too, but..." he trailed off. _But he's not really himself these days_ , she understood Kondou's pause.

"I don't know if I am capable," she told him honestly, but he just smiled.

"There's nobody more capable than you, Yukimura," he assured her and she couldn't help but smile back at his words. _This man, seriously. You can't win with him,_ she thought, her mind filled with fondness.

"Then, I will do my best," she answered and bowed slightly.

"Thank you." He returned the gesture. Then he got closer to her, lowering his voice to a whisper, as if somebody could eavesdrop.

"Make sure they eat their medicine, alright?"

"Of course," she said, shaking her head dutifully.

Kondou then excused himself and left to talk to Hijikata. She was gazing at his back for a moment and then headed to her room.

* * *

It's been few days since the soldiers moved out, and she couldn't get used to how quiet this place became.

But most of all, she was bored. Since all the captains were away, patrols were temporarily suspended, meaning she had absolutely nothing to do. _Well, aside from that damn promise,_ she remembered with a sigh.

Every day she had to bring the medicine, which she was preparing with Yamazaki, to the wounded men. From the very beginning she knew that Heisuke would be no problem. But the other two... That was worrying.

She'd prefer to swallow glass than to serve Sannan in any way. Her sympathy due to his injury ended long ago, since he continued to act like a total asshole. Now, she simply wished that she wouldn't have to see him. She couldn't ignore Kondou's request though, it would make her feel bad.

Luckily Sannan seemed to like her just as much as she liked him. The first time she brought him the medicine was also the last. He told her not to come anymore, describing this as "useless actions". He didn't even try to sound polite, but she didn't care. She was more than happy to comply. Still, she asked Yamazaki to give it to him instead.

The next issue was Okita. She still felt incredibly guilty every time she saw him. Until now she was doing her best to avoid him, but in this situation it was impossible.

That first day, she was standing in front of his room, unable to go in.

 _What if I just call out to him and leave the tray next to the door?_ she thought and almost instantly rejected the idea. _Idiot, he's injured. He shouldn't move too much._

She stayed there for a longer moment, trying to come up with something else, but failed to do so.

"Ah, damn it," she cursed quietly, annoyed with herself. "Okita-san, I'm coming in." She didn't get any answer and figured that he might be asleep. Hoping for this she entered, and breathed out in relief seeing that he was indeed sleeping. She approached his futon and left the medicine right next to him, then she retreated quickly.

Okita seemed to have his naps around that time of the day, because when Shizuka went to his room the next time, he was asleep again. The same thing happened later.

Now she was coming back from Heisuke's room. She stayed there for a longer while, chattering with the younger man, since she'd noticed that he was as bored as she was. He was mostly complaining about Hijikata's strictness. He also mentioned his opponent from Ikedaya, though very reluctantly. He was still very mad at himself for losing.

Hearing this story, she started wondering. Heisuke was an amazing swordsman, but he lost easily. He said that the enemy was not using any kind of weapon, which was even more strange.

Soon, when Heisuke grew tired, she left, still thinking about it. _It can't be, right? Was this guy yet another oni? I don't think a normal person would fight barehanded,_ she reasoned. Then she looked back at younger man's room. _I hope he gets well soon,_ she wished.

Shizuka was walking through the compound, lost in her thoughts. While wandering like this, she spotted somebody standing in front of the common room. She tensed momentarily, but as she looked closer, she recognized the person. Which made her tense up even more. _Crap._

She turned around and left that corridor as fast as she could. _Why is he out there? Shouldn't he rest?_ she wondered. When she reached the garden in front of her room, she finally stopped. _Ah, seriously. What the hell am I doing?_ She sat down on the bench and sighed heavily, utterly disappointed by her own behavior.

The weather was really great today. Thanks to the gentle wind, that was blowing from time to time, the usual stuffy air felt a lot more cool and refreshing. She inhaled deeply, a little smile appearing on her face. She looked up at the sky and her mouth opened slightly in amazement.

It was especially beautiful, the infinite blue decorated with various shapes of small, white clouds. She was so absorbed, that she didn't notice a person joining her on the bench. The man mimicked Shizuka and also got captivated by the sight.

"Today's sky sure is pretty, isn't it?" she heard. She hummed in response, at first not realizing that he's here. After few moments she flinched and stared at her companion. He offered her one of his crooked smiles.

 _How did he get here so quietly?_ she thought frantically, caught completely off guard. Her initial reaction was to run, but she shook her head at the ridiculous idea. _Don't be a coward,_ she scolded herself. Seeing her consternation, he spoke up.

"What's wrong?"

"Is it alright for you to walk around like this?" she asked him, ignoring his question.

"I'm fine," Okita said, shrugging.

"But what if you make it worse?" the girl opposed, making him glance at her, his eyes half-closed.

"It's not like I'm going to run off and join them, or anything," he joked. Then, as if realizing something, he leaned in suddenly, his smile wolfish. "Don't tell me you're worried, Shizuka-chan? I thought you didn't like me, but was I wrong?" he teased. She wasn't paying attention to his teasing, but hearing his last remark, her head shot up. She glared at him, her blood boiling. _What the hell did he just say?_

"It's you who's been an asshole for no reason this entire time, not me!" Shizuka exclaimed before she could stop herself. The moment those words left her mouth, she turned her face away in horror. His eyes widened and for a moment he was just looking at her, taken aback.

The prolonging silence was making her feel more and more uneasy. She was waiting for a comeback or a hit, she didn't know herself, so when he started to laugh loudly she flinched, stunned.

"Ah, I guess I deserved that one. Sorry for being an asshole, then," he said, still chuckling. She just faced the other way, murmuring in resignation and embarrassment.

When he calmed down, he gazed at her again, this time serious.

"Let's say that I misunderstood few things about you." She looked up, surprised. _No way. He's explaining himself?_

"Misunderstood?"

"Yes. But it doesn't matter anymore," Okita assured. She eyed him, unconvinced. He must've found her sceptical frown funny, because he started laughing again.

She was ready to smack him upside the head, but he suddenly broke out in a violent cough. Her expression instantly tensed in worry.

"Okita-san, are you alright?" She turned to him, but before she grabbed his arm he raised his hand to stop her.

"Don't. I'm fine." He coughed few more times, then the attack subsided. She was staring at him, her fists clenched tightly. When he noticed her gaze, she looked away, biting her lip.

"You really are worried, Shizuka-chan," he picked on her, as if nothing happened.

"How can I not be? It's because..." she yelled at him, having enough of his bravado, but he cut her off.

"You're really weird," he stated, observing her as if she was some kind of a foreign being. She huffed in outrage. _What?!_

"Well excuse me for being weird!" She thought he would laugh again, but strangely he didn't, he just kept looking at her. Then he spoke up.

"I got hurt because I was careless, okay? It's not your fault." _How... How did he know?_

She stared up at him, uncertainty written all over her face. He didn't look away, his gaze reassuring, and waited patiently until doubt was gone from her eyes.

"Are we clear?" he asked finally and she gave him a little nod. "Good," he said simply.

They were sitting next to each other for a longer while and Shizuka noticed with surprise, that it didn't feel awkward at all. She glanced at him sneakily, his eyes were closed. Okita's neck was stretched towards the sky, he was breathing deeply, inhaling fresh, summer air. She did the same, and soon found herself slowly relaxing. _Who would've thought that I'll be talking to him normally one day? Well, almost normally._

Her fate was now intertwined with the Shinsengumi in more ways than one. She knew that the success of her mission depended heavily on them, since they were targeting the same person. She didn't want to lose this connection. _Of course I won't let them get to Sawamura first. He's mine._

Also... In the darkest corners of her mind, there was this one, forbidden thought.

She enjoyed being here.

Even though the pain she felt couldn't be erased, strangely, by being here with them, she could feel it lessen slightly. Somehow the Shinsengumi started to mean something to her. She didn't know yet what it was, and was resisting to acknowledge that with all her might, but this mysterious feeling kept growing.

 _It's not so bad,_ she concluded and smiled to her thoughts, forgetting herself for a moment. This caught Okita's attention and he looked down at her curiously.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Hmm..." he eyed her closely, as if searching for an answer on her face. She gave him an unamused glare. "You really are weird," he concluded finally.

Shizuka stood up abruptly, finally having enough of his comments, and he looked up at her.

"Says the guy who has a killing fetish," she bit back and he stared at her surprised. He repeated her insult quietly. "And you know what? Go to hell," she ended and turned away, heading to her room, each step a loud thud. She heard him laughing and gritted her teeth. _Not so bad? He's the worst! Ugh, I hate this asshole!_

He called after her, but she refused to look behind. When she entered her room, she closed the door with a slam. But even then, she could still hear how amused he was. She covered her ears with her hands, grumbling in irritation.

"Not so bad my ass."

* * *

 _ **Okay, chapter 5 down!**_

 _ **You might've noticed that this chapter is a lot longer than the previous ones. Well, it's because of you guys. I got so excited over your sweet comments, that before I realized I wrote this kind of giant. That's why I wanted to thank you. Your lovely reviews made my day(s) and gave me an inspiration-filled kick. I really appreciate that.**_

 _ **I was thinking about shortening it, or breaking it into two parts, but in the end I decided to keep, as an experiment of sorts. And here's my question for you: do you like it like this? Is it too long? Please, let me know.**_

 _ **As for the story… I went all out with Souji, didn't I? I figured they need to establish some sort of a relation, even if it's a really odd one. I'll keep working hard to improve it and give it an appropriate "feeling" (but I have to admit that Shizuka is very tough to work with, she's such a short fuse. And what's worse, Souji seems to have figured that out…)**_

 _ **Feel free to leave a review, I'd love to know what you guys think. See you in chapter 6!**_


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